Buttercup’s Baby
The Princess Bride Sequel
In which Westley and Buttercup are thirty years older.
Their daughter is a maiden who apparently needs to be rescued, but doesn’t really…
If you prefer to slay the Brazilian rain forest, here is the .pdf version:
A Screenplay
INT. HOUSE - DAY
A video game is played out on a screen. As the camera pans out, we see a young girl (maybe 10 years old) sitting in front of a huge-screen TV in a bedroom. With a controller in her hands, DAISY looks very small and alone.
MOM (O.S.)
(loudly, from another room)
Daisy!
A few seconds pass as Daisy continues to play.
MOM
Daisy!
DAISY
What?
MOM (O.S.)
Your dad will be home soon. I need to talk to the three of you.
Daisy pauses the game and puts the controller down. Exits the room.
CUT TO:
INT. KITCHEN - MOMENTS LATER
Mom is standing around the kitchen island. As Daisy makes her way into the kitchen, two older girls, MAGGIE and LUCY, young teenagers, appear from other parts of the house. The oldest, Maggie, is talking on her cell phone.
MAGGIE
I know. I was trying to be a nice to her, but she just kept saying it over and over. And then I was like--
MOM
Maggie, say goodbye.
MAGGIE
(rolls her eyes)
I’ve gotta go. My mom is making us talk to her.
Maggie hangs up the phone. The three girls gather around mom.
LUCY
Is this going to take long? I’m working on my science project.
MOM
Your dad is coming home.
MAGGIE
Good. He can pick up my car from the dealership.
MOM
(sighs)
Honey, he’s been gone for a month. I hope he sees how much you’ve missed him.
MAGGIE
Did he find his stupid book?
MOM
Don’t call it stupid. You know how much that book means to your dad. And yes, he did find it.
LUCY
He actually found it this time?
MOM
Yes, and he’s very excited about it. The university is going to give him a sabbatical to study it.
DAISY
The book about Buttercup?
MOM
Yes, and about her baby.
LUCY
With Westley?
MOM
I believe so. We have to find out.
MAGGIE
Oh man, he’s probably going to want to read the whole thing to us.
MOM
Girls, you should be more appreciative. It will be like old times-- when your father used to read The Princess Bride to you when you were little, the same book that his grandfather read to him--
MAGGIE
--and the same book his father read to him. We know the story, mom.
DAISY
I want to hear it.
MOM
(patting Daisy’s hand)
Good, Daisy. You know how much it would mean to your father. I want all of you to at least pretend that you’re excited. You know how long he’s searched for this book.
CUT TO:
EXT. SUBURBAN DRIVEWAY - DAY
A car pulls into the drive of a charming suburban house. DAD (“The Kid” from The Princess Bride, now in his forties) parks the car and steps out briskly. He retrieves a suitcase and a briefcase from the trunk. Cradling the briefcase to his chest, he bounds up the house and opens the door. He steps into the foyer.
CUT TO:
INT. FOYER - DAY
DAD
Hello! Anyone home?
Mom joins him in the foyer, pecks him on the cheek and hugs him warmly.
MOM
Welcome back, baby.
Dad kisses her with some passion.
MOM
Oh my, you seem to be in a good mood.
DAD
(with enthusiasm)
It’s so good to see you. Where are the girls?
The three girls filter into the foyer from different parts of the house. Maggie is texting on her phone. Lucy has headphones on. Maggie and Lucy kiss his cheek politely. Mom sternly motions for Lucy to take the headphones off, which she does. Daisy hugs him around the waist.
DAISY
Welcome home, daddy.
Dad crouches to a knee in front of Daisy.
DAD
You’ll never believe it.
DAISY
What?
DAD
Did mom tell you? I found the book!
LUCY
Buttercup’s Baby?
DAD
That’s the one.
MAGGIE
Did you read it?
DAD
Every word. Twice. I’ve even completed an initial translation. Well, it’s an abridgement.
MAGGIE
Let me guess-- just the good parts.
DAD
I’ll work on all the background stuff later-- the treatises on Florin law and culture and all the stuff about the Florinese trees.
MOM
And?
DAD
(standing)
It’s wonderful. Better than I hoped.
DAISY
Does it have a baby?
DAD
Yes.
LUCY
And let me guess- torture, giants and monsters.
DAD
No.
LUCY
Oh.
DAD
But it does have unicorns.
MAGGIE
Really?
DAD
Yes. And fencing, and revenge, and miracles--
MOM
--and true love?
DAD
The truest kind.
MAGGIE
Are you going to read it to us?
DAD
Is the pope catholic?
MAGGIE
I suppose that might be kinda cool.
DAISY
When?
DAD
Right now.
MOM
But you haven’t eaten yet. There’s a plate for you in the fridge.
DAD
(pecks mom on the cheek)
I got something at the airport.
MOM
But don’t you want to unwind first?
DAD
Are you kidding me? I’ve waited my whole life for this.
Dad walks to the living room and places the briefcase on a small table. Mom and the girls gather around. Dad opens the briefcase and reveals a very large book that appears medieval. Next to it is a stack of papers with the printed words: “Buttercup’s Baby by S. Morgenstern: A Translation from the Original Florinese.”
DAD
(picking up the book and typed pages)
You ready to hear the rest of the story?
Dad makes his way to a chair near the unlit fireplace. The girls take various spots spaced out widely around the room.
MOM
(Walking to the kitchen)
I’ll get some drinks.
Maggie looks at her phone.
DAD
Maggie, can you put your phone down for a few minutes?
Maggie makes a Chewbacca noise and puts phone down.
MAGGIE
It’s going to be more like a few hours.
DAD
Just give the book half an hour. Then you can decide if want to leave. I promise, it doesn’t turn out the way you expected.
Maggie glances at her phone to check the time, then puts it down again.
MAGGIE
Okay.
Mom returns with a glass of water for dad and sits across the room on the couch. Dad sets the ancient book on the table beside him and picks up his translated papers.
DAD
Buttercup’s Baby. S. Morgenstern’s Glorious Examination of Courage Matched Against the Death of the Heart.
Dad looks up at his family with a smile and flips the page.
DAD
Many people believed that Westley and Buttercup would ride off into the forest with Iñigo and Fezzik and live happily ever after. But as the modern poet, Shakespeare, once noted, “The course of true love never did run smooth.”
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. A DARK CHAMBER IN THE MEDIEVAL PERIOD
A BISHOP and a FRIAR are poring through a large book on a pedestal.
DAD (V.O.)
It turns out that Westley had been wrong. According to both church tradition and Florin law, Buttercup had indeed married Prince Humperdinck. But Westley and Buttercup were unaware of this for many happy months.
CUT TO:
EXT. A FOREST CROWDED WITH PEOPLE IN A RUSTIC VILLAGE WITH HUTS AND TREEHOUSES - DAY
Many villagers crowd around a central area watching several dancers locked arm and arm dancing to a rudimetary band. Among them are a young Westley and Buttercup from a distance.
DAD (V.O.)
Westley, Buttercup, Iñigo and Fezzik lived happily with a band of merry men and women in the forest. But, Buttercup’s world was turned upside down once again when good knights of the Kingdom of Florin appeared with the news about her marriage.
The dancing is interrupted when two men appear on horseback. From a distance, we see one of them approach young Buttercup, kneel and offer her a sword.
DAD (V.O.)
She learned that not only was she still married to Prince Humperdinck, who had become the king, but that she was now the Queen of Florin. On top of that --
MAGGIE (V.O.)
Wait. What?
CUT TO:
INT. IN THE LIVING ROOM
DAD
I told you it’s not what you expected.
MAGGIE
(pushing her phone farther away from her)
Buttercup was married to Humperdinck? But she didn’t say, “I do.”
DAD
Apparently, that didn’t matter.
MAGGIE
But that’s not how it’s supposed to--
DAD
Maggie, this is a true story, and true stories are messy.
MAGGIE
But, does that mean--
DAD
Just listen. I haven’t even finished the sentence.
Dad looks down at the pages and finds his place.
DAD
On top of that, King Humperdinck had died--
LUCY
What?
DAD
(looking slightly exasperated)
Oh my gosh, girls. I appreciate your enthusiasm, but you have to at least let me finish the sentences.
Lucy grins sheepishly.
DAD
(returning to the book)
On top of that, King Humperdinck had died when one of the tigers in his underground zoo escaped.
CUT TO:
A TIGER ROAMING A CASTLE - NIGHT
DAD (V.O.)
It made its way through the castle until it found him in his bedroom and mauled him in the middle of the night.
CUT TO:
LUCY IN THE LIVING ROOM, LOOKING DISGUSTED
CUT TO:
DAD, WHO SHRUGS HIS SHOULDERS THEN RETURNS TO THE BOOK
DAD
Buttercup’s first act as queen--
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. THE FRONT OF THE CASTLE - DAY
Queen Buttercup, viewed from behind, is wearing a crown, facing a jubilant, cheering crowd.
DAD (V.O.) (CONT'D)
-- was to move all of Humperdinck’s animals into a new public zoo with strong locks. And the second thing she did was marry Westley in a formal ceremony.
Young Queen Buttercup turns and extends a hand. A young Westley comes from off screen and takes her hand. She wears a crown; he does not. The two, still shot from behind, wave at the cheering crowd.
DAD (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Almost overnight, the two went from commoners to rulers of the kingdom-- Queen Buttercup and Prince Consort Westley. It didn’t take long for the country to fall in love with them. As the years passed --
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. THRONE ROOM
Viewed from behind, Queen Buttercup is seated on her throne. As the camera slowly pans around to the front, a rapid succession of petitioners and aides blur by in high speed giving the illusion of many years passing. When we finally see her face, Queen Buttercup appears to be in her forties.
DAD (V.O.)
-- Queen Buttercup proved herself to be one of the most capable monarchs the world had ever seen. She maintained peace throughout the land. One of the ways she did this was by making Prince Consort Westley Admiral of the Ocean Sea.
CUT TO:
ONE OR SEVERAL TALL SHIPS SAILING
DAD (V.O.)
Admiral Westley was gone often, fighting battles and exploring new lands. Many sailors commented on his striking resemblance to the Dread Pirate Roberts.
CUT TO:
INT. THRONE ROOM
As the camera finishes the time blur. Now in full view, an older Queen Buttercup and Westley appear seated next to one another.
DAD (V.O.)
Queen Buttercup and Prince Consort Westley had many happy years together; their happiness marred by only one thing-- their inability to have children. It was not until a new miracle man, MIRACLE MARVIN, came to the kingdom that this changed.
MIRACLE MARVIN, an aged Merlin-type figure, accompanied by HUBERT, his young-to-middle-age black assistant, in the throne room presenting two vials of potion to Buttercup and Westley.
DAD (V.O.)
With his help, Queen Buttercup and Prince Consort Westley became parents in the middle of their lives.
CUT TO:
INT. ROYAL BEDCHAMBER
With a middle-aged Westley beside her, Buttercup holds an angelic baby.
DAD (V.O.)
The baby girl truly was a miracle. The little princess stole her parents’ hearts. They named her, Waverly, which reminded Westley of the sea that always bore him home.
(a beat)
Shortly after the birth of the new princess, the Florinese Navy brought home a guest.
CUT TO:
EXT. A NAVAL SHIP, PIERSIDE - DAY
Iñigo Montoya, now past his prime and dressed like a very salty pirate, walks down the gangplank. He is greeted by Westley with a warm hug.
DAD (V.O.)
Iñigo Montoya became a special adviser to the admiral on military matters. More importantly, he was made godfather to Princess Waverly, a role once held by Fezzik who had died protecting the baby princess from a fall.
CUT TO:
INT. ROYAL BEDCHAMBER - DAY
An older Iñigo holds baby Waverly, doting on her. Her tiny fist clenches one of his fingers.
DAD (V.O.)
For the first ten years of her life, Princess Waverly lived a charmed life.
CUT TO:
MONTAGE OF SCENES DEPICTING YOUNG PRINCESS GROWING UP
DAD (V.O.)
She received the finest education. She had lessons in fencing and horseback riding. She was regaled by stories at night by her father and godfather who told tales of high adventure in distant lands. These stories were compiled by scribes and made into the book, One Thousand and Two Florinese Nights. But then, the troubles began.
CUT TO:
INT. WAVERLY'S BEDCHAMBER.
A young Princess Waverly, perhaps ten, lies in bed, holding her head, wincing in pain.
DAD (V.O.)
That’s when the Princess’s affliction started-- terrible headaches. First, she had one every month. Then, every week. Within a year, she had a debilitating headache every day. Miracle Marvin and his assistant, Hubert, tried everything-- potions, pills, panaceas--
The Miracle Man and Hubert bring a potion. Young Waverly drinks it then flops back down on her pillow.
DAD (V.O.)
--but nothing cured her. The only thing the family could do was find ways to lessen her pain. Queen Buttercup discovered that the Princess’s headaches worsened with strong light and unpleasant sounds.
Servants close the shutters and hang curtains. They tie ropes between the high posts of the empty bed and hang layers of large draperies over the ropes.
DAD (V.O.)
She ordered that her daughter’s bedchamber be closed off to sunlight and her bed enclosed in thick draperies.
CUT TO:
INT. STAIRS LEADING TO THE UNDERGROUND WATER CAVERN
A young page carries a candle in one hand and a clay water jug. Innumerable steps carved into the stone extend into the darkness below him.
DAD (V.O.)
She ordered cool water to be brought to her daughter every hour by a team of pages who walked the thousand steps up from the castle’s secret underground water supply, which was meant to sustain the castle in the time of a siege.
CUT TO:
INT. WAVERLY'S BEDCHAMBER.
Young Waverly lets go of her mother’s hand and climbs into her large bed. Once inside, servants close the draperies around her. Her mother, father, Iñigo and favorite lady-in-waiting, MATILDA, a young girl about the same age as Waverly, watch on.
DAD (V.O.)
Fearing that she would lose her miracle baby, Queen Buttercup protected her daughter from any endeavor that might cause her pain. The Princess stopped all activity. No more horseback riding or fencing, for they only evoked the severest kind of headache. While Queen Buttercup ran the kingdom, Prince Consort Westley and Iñigo did everything they could to help the princess.
CUT TO:
INT. A DARK CHAMBER IN A CHURCH BUILDING IN THE MEDIEVAL PERIOD
Westley pores over an ancient book with Marvin and Hubert.
DAD (V.O.)
Westley was told by the wise men of a promising cure. Ctesius of Cnidus had written of the unicorn whose horn, when made into a drinking vessel, might cure certain afflictions.
CUT TO:
EXT. OUTSIDE THE CASTLE WALLS
Westley, looking very much like a man of action, bursts from the castle gate on a fast horse, followed by a team of ten men.
DAD (V.O.)
With the queen’s permission, Westley set out with some of his finest men to quest for the beast.
CUT TO:
INT. WAVERLY'S BEDCHAMBER.
Iñigo sitting outside of the large four-poster bed covered in draperies, telling stories.
DAD (V.O.)
Meanwhile, Iñigo stayed with the Princess almost every waking hour.
CUT TO:
INT. STAIRS LEADING TO THE UNDERGROUND WATER CAVERN
Iñigo, followed by Matilda, carries the young princess down the steps.
DAD (V.O.)
Once, when the cool water brought by the pages was not enough, he carried her the thousand steps to the subterranean river.
CUT TO:
INT. UNDERGOUND WATER CAVERN
The cave-like water cavern has a stone platform that borders a large pool of black water. The cavern is so large and the chamber so dark that one cannot see across, nor tell how deep the water is. With Matilda at her side, young Waverly goes to the water’s edge and splashes cool water on her face.
DAD (V.O.)
The cool water brought some relief to the young princess. These sessions became a nightly event, one that was kept a secret from her mother, who, out of love, had become over-protective of her daughter. Eventually, Waverly did more than splash cool water on her face.
Young Waverly, clothed in a light robe, steps down into the dark pool, fully immerses herself, then swims.
DAD (V.O.)
She took to swimming. The combination of the cool water and vigorous exercise temporarily improved her condition. Though both Iñigo and Matilda feared the dangers posed by the dangerous currents and the giant pike, the princess’s midnight swim sessions, in which Iñigo stood guard in the stairwell, continued in secret.
CUT TO:
INT. WAVERLY’S BEDCHAMBER
Iñigo stands over a table outside the enclosed bed. He opens a guitar case, returns to his usual seat with the instrument, and begins to play.
DAD (V.O.)
While waiting for Westley to return from the unicorn quest, Iñigo stumbled onto another therapy that helped. What prompted him to break the silence of the Princess’s chamber, no one knows. But twenty minutes into his playing, the young princess reported that she felt much better. In the morning, her headache returned. But still, it was a breakthrough. Iñigo honed his modest skills during the day, and reported to the Princess’s bedchamber in the evening to assuage her pain just enough to enable her to sleep. And then, he had an idea.
CUT TO:
INT. WAVERLY'S BEDCHAMBER
As Iñigo plays the guitar, a handsome teenaged Spanish boy, DIEGO MONTOYA, comes in dressed as a page, carrying a basin of water with a clean towel.
DAD (V.O.)
An idea that involved his grandnephew, Diego, who had worked as one of the castle pages from a very early age.
Diego stands near the doorway with the water basin. He is relaxed because he has done this a thousand times, but looks at the bed longingly.
DIEGO
Your highness, I have come with your water.
YOUNG WAVERLY (O.S.)
(from within her enclosed bed)
You may approach, page boy.
A dainty white hand and forearm emerge from the heavy draperies. Diego steps up to the bed and turns away in a manner he has probably been instructed to do as he hands the basin to the princess. The basin and towel disappear behind the drapes.
DIEGO
(still with his back to the bed)
Your highness?
YOUNG WAVERLY
Yes, page boy?
DIEGO
Is there anything else I can do for you?
YOUNG WAVERLY
Unless you can take this pain away, there is nothing you can do for me.
DIEGO
I wish that I could, your highness, but I don’t know how.
YOUNG WAVERLY
Then you may go.
Diego, looking deeply disappointed, starts to leave, but his granduncle motions for him to come.
IÑIGO
(placing a hand on Diego’s shoulder, speaking quietly, almost in a whisper)
Diego, you have made me a very proud uncle. I believe you have the potential for greatness. I have thought of a path for you to prove your worth and help the princess at the same time. I have seen your love for the princess, and I know I can charge you with this task. Are you prepared to undertake a difficult journey?
Diego nods his head.
IÑIGO
You must return to our ancestral homeland in Andalucía. There, you must find a great guitar virtuoso, preferably a young one, and bring him to this court to play for the princess.
DIEGO
But, uncle, you play for the princess.
IÑIGO
Yes, Diego, but I am growing old and will not live forever. Besides, as you well know, I am no virtuoso. If my humble playing can help the princess, imagine what a fine Spanish master can do for her. Will you do this for me?
DIEGO
No, uncle.
Momentary shock and disappointment register on Iñigo’s face.
DIEGO (CONT’D)
I will do it for the princess.
Iñigo smiles again, closes his eyes and presses his forehead against Diego’s.
IÑIGO
I pray that the Holy Virgin of Guadalupe will guide you in your quest and shower your journey with good fortune and godspeed.
Iñigo opens his eyes, smiles at Diego, and hugs him.
CUT TO:
EXT. CASTLE - DAY
Diego leaves the castle behind him riding a donkey laden with a bedroll and modest packs.
DAD (V.O.)
And so, Diego set out on a journey with little to guide him except a brave heart and pure intentions. Not long after Diego left, tragic events unfolded.
DAISY (V.O.)
Did Princess Waverly die?
CUT TO:
INT. LIVING ROOM
Mom has moved to a spot on the couch closer to dad’s chair. Daisy and Lucy are now seated on the floor in front of dad, and Maggie has moved somewhat closer to the far end of the couch.
DAD
No, baby.
LUCY
Did Diego die?
DAD
No. There is danger ahead, but Princess Waverly and Diego are still okay. It is very sad news, though.
DAISY
What is it?
DAD
Well, if you’ll let me read, you’ll find out.
Daisy and Lucy purse their lips and look at dad expectantly.
DAD
(returning to his typed translation)
Prince Consort Westley returned from the quest to find a unicorn horn.
Page 20
CUT TO:
INT. CASTLE THRONE ROOM
Queen Buttercup is on her throne. She and Westley are now in their fifties. An entourage of soldiers and servants enters, accompanied by Marvin and Hubert. Four of them are carrying Westley on a stretcher, his head wrapped in a bandage.
BUTTERCUP
(Running to Westley’s side)
Westley!
The four men carrying the stretcher come to a halt. Buttercup leans over him and places a hand on his cheek.
BUTTERCUP
Oh, my love, speak to me. Tell me that you’re alright.
WESTLEY
(reaches up to touch her face)
I am still alive, my love. But I am half the man I once was.
BUTTERCUP
What do you mean?
WESTLEY
How is Waverly?
BUTTERCUP
A little better. Iñigo plays the guitar for her. It helps.
WESTLEY
The guitar? Is she much better?
BUTTERCUP
A little.
WESTLEY
A little is better than nothing. It’s more than I accomplished.
BUTTERCUP
What happened to you?
WESTLEY
I was this close.
(makes a pinching gesture)
BUTTERCUP
To what?
WESTLEY
A unicorn.
BUTTERCUP
Where?
WESTLEY
In Guilder. Far east of the Fire Swamp in the Black Forest.
BUTTERCUP
Westley, you could have been taken.
WESTLEY
We moved in the dark of night and-- the best that I can tell--were never detected.
BUTTERCUP
Did you see one?
WESTLEY
No. It turns out they can only be seen by a pure maiden. Once we learned that, we hired a local village girl to point a unicorn to us.
BUTTERCUP
But what happened to you?
CUT TO:
EXT. DARK FOREST - NIGHT
Westley is galloping on horseback with a young girl in peasant’s clothes behind him on the saddle.
WESTLEY (V.O.)
One night, with the girl riding behind me, I chased one beyond the reach of the other men. The girl kept pointing farther ahead. Apparently, they are incredibly fast. We came to a glade where my horse halted in an instant, which sent me and the girl flying. I landed on my head, suffering a terrible blow. But, thank heaven, the girl was uninjured.
CUT TO:
INT. THRONE ROOM
Buttercup begins to unwrap the bandage from Westley’s head.
BUTTERCUP
But you, Westley, are you hurt badly?
WESTLEY
My head is better. The thing is that I haven’t been able to move my legs since falling from the horse.
BUTTERCUP
(raising a hand to her mouth)
Oh, Westley! That’s horrible.
WESTLEY
It certainly put a damper on the trip.
BUTTERCUP
(putting on a brave face)
You will get better. I know it.
WESTLEY
I’ve asked Miracle Marvin about it. He consulted with Hubert and told me-- without the slightest hint of irony-- that my affliction could only be cured by the horn of a unicorn.
BUTTERCUP
Well then, we shall just have to find one.
WESTLEY
It’s impossible. I’ve discovered that first hand.
BUTTERCUP
Surely, someone has found one somewhere. I’ll have scouts scour every market in Florin and Guilder. I’ll spare no expense.
WESTLEY
(looking skeptical)
I wish I shared your optimism. Meanwhile, my first task is to devise a way to move about.
CUT TO:
EXT. OUTDOOR MARKET AREA - DAY
A carpenter fashions something out of wood with Hubert pointing to drawings.
DAD (V.O.)
Weeks passed, and Westley’s legs did not get better. Hubert designed a wheelchair, which was assembled by the greatest carpenter and the greatest blacksmith in the city.
CUT TO:
INT. WAVERLY'S BEDCHAMBER.
DAD (V.O.)
Thereafter, Westley spent most of his time with Iñigo and Waverly and her ladies-in-waiting in her bedchamber. Westley told more stories, adding some unicorn stories to the One Thousand and Two Florinese Nights compendium. Iñigo played the guitar.
CUT TO:
INT. UNDERGROUND WATER CAVERN
Young Waverly descends the stone steps in a robe. Matilda follows her and Iñigo follows them both with a sword strapped to his side. Nearing the end of the staircase, Iñigo sits down on the step while the two girls go into the chamber alone.
DAD (V.O.)
Waverly’s lady-in-waiting, Matilda, kept watch at night when the princess descended the thousand stairs to the underground water cavern beneath the castle--
CUT TO:
INT. UNDERGOUND WATER CAVERN
Young Waverly swims in the water and the backs of large pike are seen near the surface.
DAD (V.O.)
-- where she took her exercise climbing up and down the thousands steps and swimming amongst the giant pike.
CUT TO:
INT. WAVERLY'S BEDCHAMBER
DAD (V.O.)
Afterward, Iñigo played music until the Princess fell asleep --
(a few seconds of Spanish guitar music)
-- and as the months passed, he wondered about Diego.
CUT TO:
EXT. SPANISH VILLAGE - DAY
In a marketplace, Diego, holding the reins of his donkey, walks to various stalls and buildings asking questions. The villagers listen and nod and point directions to him.
DIEGO
Excuse me, do you know any masters of the guitar?
HONEY MERCHANT
It depends. Would you like to buy some honey?
Diego sighs and counts out some money. He hands it to the Honey Merchant in exchange for a jar of honey.
DIEGO
Thank you. Now tell me, do you know a master guitar player?
HONEY MERCHANT
No.
Diego’s shoulders slump as he looks at the merchant angrily.
DIEGO
C’mon, I just bought a jar of honey that I don’t need.
HONEY MERCHANT
I can’t help you; I don’t know one. You might ask the wool merchant. He knows everyone.
Diego continues along, moving past several market stalls until he gets to the wool merchant, an honest-looking man in his fifties.
DIEGO
Excuse me, do you know any masters of the guitar?
WOOL MERCHANT
Masters of the what?
DIEGO
The guitar. I’m looking for a great guitar master.
WOOL MERCHANT
I know several people who play guitar.
DIEGO
Are they any good?
WOOL MERCHANT
Very good.
WOOL MERCHANT’S WIFE
(stepping into the stall)
That’s rubbish! None of them are good.
WOOL MERCHANT
(looking at his wife incredulously)
What about Felipe? He’s very good. He played in the alley last night.
WOOL MERCHANT’S WIFE
That’s what that was! I thought that was a cat fight.
WOOL MERCHANT
He’s the best player I have every heard. He plays for the dancers.
WOOL MERCHANT’S WIFE
You only think that because you have never had anything to compare it to.
WOOL MERCHANT
And I suppose you have?
WOOL MERCHANT’S WIFE
When I was a little girl, the village had a master who played in the plaza. It sounded like a choir of angels singing the promise of heavenly beauty. After hearing him, I have never heard a guitar player that I would describe as very good.
DIEGO
Who is this man?
WOOL MERCHANT’S WIFE
His name is Francisco de la Rosa.
DIEGO
Where can I find him?
WOOL MERCHANT’S WIFE
I don’t even know if he’s still alive. I heard there was some trouble with his family and that he lived in a cave under the great bridge of Ronda.
DIEGO
He would be an old man now?
WOOL MERCHANT’S WIFE
Very.
DIEGO
Do you know if he ever took an apprentice?
She shrugs.
DIEGO
Do you know of anyone who can confirm this information?
WOOL MERCHANT’S WIFE
(shaking her head)
I don’t. But if you go to Ronda, you will likely find someone who knows what became of him.
CUT TO:
EXT. RURAL ROAD IN SOUTHERN SPAIN - DAY
Diego stops, dismounts his donkey, stretches his legs, and drinks from a canteen. He scratches his burro on the forehead while peering at the mountains ahead. He then remounts and carries on.
CUT TO:
EXT. RONDA, SPAIN - DAY
Diego rides his donkey toward the New Bridge (Puente Nuevo) of Ronda. He passes under the bridge up a steep path. Finally, he arrives at a wall built into the rock face. It contains a door and a window.
CUT TO:
EXT. FRANCISCO’S CAVE - DAY
Diego knocks on the door. After a few knocks, a very old man comes to the window.
FRANCISCO
Can I help you?
DIEGO
By any chance, are you Francisco de la Rosa, the guitar master?
FRANCISCO
It depends who’s asking.
DIEGO
My name is Diego Montoya. I have been sent by the court of Florin.
FRANCISCO
Florin, hunh? You don’t look Florinese.
DIEGO
My family hails from Andalucía.
FRANCISCO
I see. And what is the object of your quest?
DIEGO
To find the greatest guitar player in Andalucía.
FRANCISCO
Mission accomplished.
DIEGO
And bring him back to Florin.
FRANCISCO
Mission failed.
DIEGO
But why?
FRANCISCO
Boy, at my age, I’m lucky to make it to the pond and back with a bucket of water. Besides, I don’t work for governments.
DIEGO
Why?
FRANCISCO
Have you ever been the subject of the Spanish Inquisition?
DIEGO
No.
FRANCISCO
Well, I have, and I can tell you that it erodes one’s faith in the system.
DIEGO
What did you do?
FRANCISCO
When I made a guitar for a nobleman, his wife died in childbirth. They said I was cursed and that I worked for the devil.
DIEGO
Do you work for the devil?
FRANCISCO
(rubbing his temples)
God curse this ignorant age.
(Then, suddenly animated)
Get out of here! I already told you I’m not going to Florin. Besides, I haven’t played a guitar in ten years.
Francisco starts to close his shutters, but strains mightily against the strength of Diego’s hand, which is easily holding the shutters open.
DIEGO
Please, sir. It is a matter of the greatest importance.
FRANCISCO
Let me guess. It’s for a girl.
DIEGO
Yes.
FRANCISCO
And you’re in love with her.
DIEGO
(after thinking for a moment and coming to a realization)
No, I... Well, yes. Perhaps I do.
FRANCISCO
That didn’t sound convincing.
Francisco attempts to close the shutters again, but he is extremely weak compared to Diego and he strives against Diego’s strength while Diego continues to show no effort.
DIEGO
Sir, you must help me.
FRANCISCO
(grunting)
Look, boy, if I helped every young man swooning over a pretty face I wouldn’t have time to eat.
DIEGO
But I have never seen her face.
Francisco abruptly stops his fruitless efforts to close the shutter, looks at Diego, and rests his elbows on the window sill.
FRANCISCO
Are you trying to tell me that you’re in love with a girl whose face you’ve never seen?
DIEGO
Yes.
FRANCISCO
What have you seen?
DIEGO
Merely her hand and forearm.
FRANCISCO
Look, boy, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. My mother-in-law had pretty hands, but above the elbows, the story changed dramatically.
DIEGO
I don’t care what she looks like.
FRANCISCO
Do you mean to tell me that this is true love?
DIEGO
I... I do not know. Perhaps it is, but I did not realize it till now.
FRANCISCO
(rolling his eyes)
Who is this girl?
DIEGO
She is a princess.
FRANCISCO
Yada, yada, yada. You can skip that part. How do you know her?
DIEGO
I am one of her pages. She suffers from terrible headaches and lives in a dark room within a covered bed.
FRANCISCO
Does she ever leave the bed?
DIEGO
No, she lives there because of her affliction.
FRANCISCO
Have you spoken to her?
DIEGO
Only when she gives me orders.
FRANCISCO
(counting on his fingers)
You mean to tell me that this girl is your employer, you’ve never seen her face, she’s in constant agony, she never exercises, never bathes, and only speaks to you to give you orders?
DIEGO
Yes.
FRANCISCO
That’s not true love. That’s a delusion.
DIEGO
I swear on the honor of my family that my cause is just.
FRANCISCO
I think you’re setting yourself up for some major heartache, but it’s a refreshing change from the usual swooners I get around here.
DIEGO
You must help me. The only therapy that works for her is when my uncle plays the guitar for her. But he is getting old, and he is no virtuoso.
FRANCISCO
How old is your uncle?
DIEGO
Sixty-nine.
FRANCISCO
Well, I’m ninety-nine, so can’t be much help to you. I expect to be dead any day.
DIEGO
(looking disappointed)
I suppose you are right. Do you have apprentices?
FRANCISCO
Never.
DIEGO
Is there another master you might know?
FRANCISCO
No. Now leave me alone!
Francisco finally slams the shutters closed (Diego no longer holds them open). Diego turns away looking despondent and unhitches his donkey. He mounts the donkey and turns the animal down the road.
DAD (V.O.)
Diego, feeling utterly despondent, mounted his tired donkey and turned down the road.
MAGGIE (V.O.)
Daddy, did you cut that part out?
CUT TO:
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
It is somewhat later in the day and the room has warmer colors. Dad has now moved to the couch. Mom is beside him and all three girls are a little closer.
DAD
What part?
MAGGIE
The part where the old man agrees to go with Diego.
DAD
No, honey. I’m just reading the book the way it is written.
(looking at his watch)
Oh, I see that your half hour is up. You don’t have to listen anymore.
MAGGIE
I guess I’ll listen a little bit longer.
DAD
Are you sure, honey?
MAGGIE
I’m sure. You can keep reading.
CUT TO:
DIEGO TURNING HIS DONKEY DOWN THE ROAD AND STARTING OFF.
DAD (V.O.)
But as Diego turned down the road with no destination in mind, Francisco de la Rosa watched him from a hole in the shutters and felt something move in his spirit.
CUT TO:
INT. FRANCISCO'S CAVE
Francisco, who had been looking through the shutters, goes to the door, unbolts four locks, and steps out onto the path.
CUT TO:
EXT. FRANCISCO'S CAVE
FRANCISCO
(yelling down the road, still somewhat reluctantly as if he can’t believe he’s doing this)
Diego! Diego!
Diego turns and looks over his shoulder with a pitiable expression. The donkey turns, too, looking even sadder.
FRANCISCO
Come back here. The least I can do is offer you a cup of wine.
Diego turns the donkey, but is still saddened. It’s hard to say whether the donkey or Diego looks sadder.
FRANCISCO
I’m only doing this because I feel sorry for the donkey. I mean, look at the poor thing-- he looks like he’s just been assigned to the salt mines. And while he rests, you might as well come in.
CUT TO:
INT. FRANCISCO'S CAVE
Diego steps in. The old man points to a humble table with one chair and retrieves a second chair from the corner.
FRANCISCO
Have a seat.
DIEGO
Thank you.
FRANCISCO
Would you like some wine?
DIEGO
(taking a seat)
Yes, thank you.
FRANCISCO
Why so sad?
DIEGO
Because you are ninety-nine.
FRANCISCO
(pouring)
I assure you that it bothers me more than it bothers you.
Diego doesn’t respond.
FRANCISCO
Perhaps we can think of someone else.
Francisco pours from the wineskin into his own wooden goblet. Diego raises his goblet and the two salute each other. Diego raises his cup slowly to his lips and takes a sip, looking glassy-eyed.
FRANCISCO
Have you considered Jose de Luz in Cartagena? He must be forty years younger than me and is exquisite with the abanico.
DIEGO
(rubbing his face in frustration)
I went to Cartagena. Jose de Luz is in prison.
FRANCISCO
For what?
DIEGO
For suggesting that navy sailors be taught how to swim.
FRANCISCO
I told him to keep his mouth shut. What about Ignacio de Peña in Granada?
DIEGO
They chopped off his hand for pleasuring the emir’s wife.
FRANCISCO
With his guitar?
DIEGO
I don’t think so.
FRANCISCO
Oye! Well, that was probably inevitable. What about his young apprentice?
DIEGO
They chased him into the mountains and no one has seen him since.
FRANCISCO
That’s unfortunate.
DIEGO
Everywhere I have gone the masters are too old, in prison or missing limbs. I will fail in my quest and the princess will suffer for it.
FRANCISCO
Perhaps you have not considered another possibility?
DIEGO
Another old man?
FRANCISCO
(coming closer)
No, a young one.
DIEGO
Is he a master?
FRANCISCO
Not yet.
DIEGO
I don’t understand.
FRANCISCO
I will make him into a master.
DIEGO
But that will take years.
FRANCISCO
This is true.
DIEGO
(small understanding registering on his face)
You’re not suggesting me, are you?
FRANCISCO
Do you love the princess?
DIEGO
I don’t know.
FRANCISCO
Well, we will find out. If you have a passion that manifests in the guitar, then we will know.
DIEGO
But I--
FRANCISCO
--have no other options.
DIEGO
When do we start?
FRANCISCO
As soon as you finish with the lemon trees.
DIEGO
The what?
FRANCISCO
You will work in the Lemon Court in the cathedral. There, you will pollinate a thousand lemon flowers. And you must do it all with your right hand.
DIEGO
Why?
FRANCISCO
Once you have fertilized a thousand lemon flowers, you will be ready to start your lessons.
DIEGO
But, why can’t the bees do it?
FRANCISCO
Your fingers need to be trained. And you must be faster than the bees.
DIEGO
But, that will take many months.
FRANCISCO
If you have a better idea to stop the princess’s headaches, feel free to pursue it.
DIEGO
Do you think that I have what it takes to be a master?
FRANCISCO
I do not know. But you have passion and a just cause. The saints will intercede on your behalf as long as you live a pure and just life. Once you are done with the flowers, we will find out.
DAD (V.O.)
And thus, Diego began his apprenticeship to the great master, Francisco de la Rosa.
CUT TO:
MONTAGE OF SCENES DEPICTING DIEGO POLLINATING LEMON TREES, COOKING FOOD AND PRACTICING THE GUITAR WITH FRANCISCO.
DAD (V.O.)
Five years passed. Miraculously, Francisco stayed alive and ripened to the age of one hundred and four. Life passed by in Florin as well and Waverly grew to be a beautiful young woman--
CUT TO:
INT. WAVERLY'S BEDCHAMBER
We see a glimpse of the princess in her robe entering into her covered bed and the curtains closing behind her.
DAD (V.O.)
-- though it was complete waste as very few people ever saw her. Shortly after the princess’s seventeenth birthday, things took a terrible turn for the worse.
CUT TO:
INT - UNDERGOUND WATER CAVERN
GROWN-UP WAVERLY is now a very beautiful young woman. With the help of Matilda (a lively girl about the same age as Waverly), Waverly dons her robe after a swim when a group of a dozen men clad in black surround the two of them. One of the men grabs Waverly from behind, putting his hand over her mouth. Another does the same to Matilda. A third points a sword at Waverly’s chest.
DAD (V.O.)
Armed raiders from Guilder found their way into Waverly’s swimming chamber. By the time Iñigo heard the commotion--
CUT TO:
STAIRS LEADING TO THE UNDERGROUND WATER CAVERN.
Iñigo is sitting with his legs stretched across the staircase and his chin on his chest, dozing. He perks up, hearing a sound, grabs the sword beside him, stands and descends the ten remaining steps of the stairwell and emerges into the water cavern. He sees a dozen armed men and Waverly, whose hands are now bound. She is held from behind and now has a knife held to her neck in addition to the sword pointed at her chest.
RAIDER LEADER
(holding Waverly)
Drop your sword.
Iñigo looks at the men surrounding him with swords, contemplating a fight. The raider leader presses his blade more firmly into Waverly’s throat.
RAIDER LEADER
I said, drop it!
Iñigo slowly lowers his sword to the floor and surrenders. He extends his hands in front of him with his wrists together.
IÑIGO
Take me as well.
RAIDER LEADER
Why should we?
IÑIGO
Because I know who you are and I know what you’re doing. You’ve been sent by the King of Guilder to abduct the Princess to force her to marry his son.
RAIDER LEADER
And?
IÑIGO
And the king wants to unite the two kingdoms in matrimony so he can lay claim to the lands of Florin.
RAIDER LEADER
And what does this have to do with you?
IÑIGO
The Princess suffers from an affliction. I am the only musician who can assuage her pain. If you don’t take me, the prince will find he has a wife who can’t get out of bed.
RAIDER LEADER
(looking at the princess and smirking)
Maybe the Prince doesn’t want her to get out of bed.
WAVERLY
If you don’t bring him, I will fight and resist the entire way, and I’ll kill myself at the first opportunity.
RAIDER LEADER
(thinking, then gesturing to the others)
Okay, bring him. If the king doesn’t want him, we’ll do away with him later.
A raider approaches Iñigo and binds his hands. The raiders force Iñigo, Matilda, and Waverly into a boat.
CUT TO:
IÑIGO’S SWORD LYING ON THE STONE FLOOR AS THE BOATS PADDLE AWAY INTO THE DARKNESS.
CUT TO:
INT. - THRONE ROOM.
Buttercup is on her throne. Westley sits in his wheelchair near her with a blanket on his lap. Now that five years have passed, they are around sixty years old. A page runs into the throne room with a report.
DAD (V.O.)
As soon as Queen Buttercup learned of her daughter’s disappearance--
Buttercup jumps up.
DAD (V.O.)
--panic rose and nearly overwhelmed her. Then, she did what she did best--
Buttercup points to pages and squires, yelling orders.
DAD (V.O.)
--she took command of the situation.
CUT TO:
EXT. FOREST - DAY
A group of Florin soldiers gallop at full speed.
DAD (V.O.)
She sent fast cavalry teams to scour the land, hoping to find the Guilderian raiders before they reached the Channel.
CUT TO:
INT. CASTLE
A close up of Buttercup’s hands finishing a letter addressed to King Karloff of Guilder. If one had time to read it, they would find it filled with scathing insults and deadly threats. She rolls up the letter, ties it with ribbon, drips wax onto it, and presses her royal seal into the wax.
DAD (V.O.)
She sent ambassadors with the harshest words to King Karloff of Guilder, threatening war if the princess was not returned unharmed.
CUT TO:
EXT. CASTLE COURTYARD - DAY
An AMBASSADOR and his entourage mount their horses, which are raring to go. Queen Buttercup holds the reins of the ambassador’s horse, hands him the scrolled letter, then releases the reins. She slaps the horse on the buttock and the ambassador and his men charge off toward the castle gate.
CUT TO:
INT. - THRONE ROOM
Buttercup paces the floor surrounded by a circle of mostly men, including Westley, Miracle Marvin, Hubert, and all of her aides and advisers.
DAD (V.O.)
Hours passed, then days, then weeks.
A messenger arrives and hands a letter to an aide, who quickly delivers it to the queen. Buttercup unscrolls the letter and reads to herself.
DAD (V.O.)
Buttercup’s soldiers had not been able to find the princess nor the Guilderian raiding party. When the queen finally got a reply from the King Karloff, she was angered by what she read. The king said that Princess Waverly had run away from home of her own free will and had decided to marry his son, PRINCE ALADRIC, who, he reported, was a fine athlete and a great catch.
Queen Buttercup looks up from the letter at the camera with fiery resolve.
DAD (V.O)
Princess Buttercup knew that this meant one thing --
CUT TO:
EXT. OUTSIDE THE CASTLE WALLS
An army assembles.
DAD (V.O.)
-- war!
CUT TO:
EXT. BATTLEFIELD. MEDIEVAL FIGHTING SCENES.
DAD (V.O.)
Queen Buttercup launched assault after assault against the forces of Guilder, but time after time the strong Guilderian army repulsed Buttercup’s forces. For, as everyone knows, while Florin is master of the sea, Guilder is master of the land. After many months of fighting and with the remnants of her army scattered, despondency overcame the court of Florin.
CUT TO:
INT. THROWN ROOM - DAY
Buttercup sits in a chair at a map table that shows miniature troops and terrain on both sides of the Channel of Guilder. She is alone. Her arm is on the table and her head is in her arm. She sobs. One arm flings across the table, casting miniature soldiers across the room. Creaking sounds emanate from off screen. Westley’s wheelchair comes into view. Westley is accompanied by Miracle Marvin and Hubert, who is pushing the wheelchair.
WESTLEY
Don’t fear, my love. I’ve decided it’s time for desperate measures to get our daughter back.
BUTTERCUP
(looking up with tears in her eyes)
What do you think we’ve been doing, Westley? Our entire army has been scattered by the forces of that brute. I would never have prayed for a child had I known she would be the victim of royal schemes!
WESTLEY
Come, my love, all hope is not lost.
BUTTERCUP
Please tell me you have an idea.
WESTLEY
I do.
Westley turns and dismisses the other two who exit the room.
BUTTERCUP
An assault from the north?
WESTLEY
No, straight across the channel.
BUTTERCUP
We’ve tried that three times. It doesn’t matter; what army could we possible send?
WESTLEY
Me.
BUTTERCUP
You?
WESTLEY
Yes.
BUTTERCUP
With who?
WESTLEY
Miracle Marvin and Hubert.
BUTTERCUP
(looking disappointed)
Don’t play with me, Westley.
WESTLEY
I’m deadly serious.
BUTTERCUP
And how do you expect to accomplish alone what three armies have failed to do?
WESTLEY
(wheeling his chair right next to Buttercup)
We’ve been going about it all wrong. We did exactly as they expected. They expect an army. What they don’t expect is a man in a wheelchair.
BUTTERCUP
But, what could you do?
WESTLEY
Go into the castle and rescue Waverly and the others.
BUTTERCUP
How?
WESTLEY
I haven’t figured that part out yet.
BUTTERCUP
Oh, Westley, you’re being foolish. You are no longer the world’s best swordsman. You are no longer a pirate. You’re just a retired admiral bound to a wheelchair. There’s not a chance in Christendom that this plan would succeed!
WESTLEY
I couldn’t disagree more.
Buttercup looks at him, with equal parts pity and hope.
WESTLEY
You see, the way I look at it, there are only three possible outcomes. One, I get into the castle and manage to whisk our daughter away. Success. Two, I am captured and thrown into prison with Waverly, and there I can tell my stories to comfort her. Success. And three, I am killed in the effort. Word would eventually reach Waverly that her crippled father died trying to save her, and the rest of her life she will never have cause to doubt my love. Success. As you can see, this mission cannot fail.
BUTTERCUP
(throwing her arms around Westley)
Westley, I cannot lose you.
WESTLEY
You can never lose me. Our love has overcome countless dangers and plots and setbacks. Even death cannot stop it.
BUTTERCUP
But I just don’t see--
WESTLEY
It’s good for our enemies to underestimate me, but you shouldn’t.
BUTTERCUP
I know with every bit of my head that I should say no to such a foolish errand. But my heart tells me that I must say yes, and that you will go whether I forbid it or not.
WESTLEY
(putting his arm around her)
I’d rather die a thousand times fighting for my family over sitting powerless in the heart of the castle. In the morning, a small army will set out for Guilder, and I will be at the head of that army.
CUT TO:
EXT. CASLTE WALLS - DAY
Inside the tower, a wooden lever is flipped. Men begin to turn a capstan with a great chain. The chain begins to lift the castle gate. On the ramparts, royal trumpeters take their position and blast a note heralding the movement of royalty. Viewed from the outside, the castle gate rises to the sight of Westley in a wheelchair with a blanket over his lap, accompanied by the very ancient Miracle Marvin, and Hubert, who is pushing the wheelchair. When the trumpeting stops, the only sound we hear is Westley’s creaky wheelchair as it proceeds slowly from the castle. Westley points forward and they continue down the road.
CUT TO:
INT. WAVERLY’S BEDCHAMBER IN GUILDER CASTLE - DAY
Iñigo’s coat is haphazardly hanging over the window, but a great deal of light still enters the room. Waverly lays in a bed under the covers. Matilda sits near her mending a garment. Iñigo sits in a chair near her bed with his hands folded, praying under his breath.
There is pounding on the door. Waverly throws the covers down and looks toward the door, squinting. Matilda looks at Iñigo who reaches under the mattress, grabs a broken bottle top, and calls out--
IÑIGO
Who goes there?
GUILDERIAN SOLDIER ONE (O.S.)
I have a message for the princess.
WAVERLY
Go away! I don’t want to see Prince Aladric in a fencing match, or a riding match, or in any of his boyish games! I never want to see him again!
We hear the sound of locks unbolting. Two Guilderian soldiers enter the room. Iñigo hides the broken bottle behind him.
GUILDERIAN SOLDIER ONE
It’s something else, your highness.
WAVERLY
Let’s hear it.
GUILDERIAN SOLDIER ONE
Your request has been granted.
IÑIGO
For a guitar?
GUILDERIAN SOLDIER ONE
No, the princess is allowed to go with the queen’s ladies to the moat to bathe.
MATILDA
When?
GUILDERIAN SOLDIER ONE
Now.
Iñigo and Matilda stand.
GUILDERIAN SOLDIER ONE
(looking at Iñigo)
Not you! Ladies only.
Waverly, dressed in a long, loose nightgown, slowly gets up, shielding her eyes from the sunlight pouring in through the window. Matilda helps her stand and put on a robe.
GUILDERIAN SOLDIER ONE
C’mon! Let’s go.
As she passes, Waverly squeezes Iñigo’s hand and smiles at him reassuringly. As Waverly and Matilda leave with the soldiers, Iñigo says--
IÑIGO
I swear on the grave of my father, Domingo, that I will kill all of you if she does not return unharmed.
The soldiers laugh dismissively. Before closing the door, Guilderian Soldier One, says--
GUILDERIAN SOLDIER ONE
Go back to sleep, old man, and maybe you’ll wake up in reality.
The guard closes and bolts the door, leaving Iñigo standing alone in the chamber gripping the broken bottle in his hands behind his back.
CUT TO:
INT. GUILDER CASTLE
Waverly and Matilda walk out to a crowd of ladies-in-waiting. The QUEEN’S LADY-IN-WAITING, a middle-aged, matronly type dressed in a dignified high hat and gown, waits at the front. As Waverly approaches her, she says haughtily--
QUEEN’S LADY-IN-WAITING
So, it’s true what they say then.
WAVERLY
What’s true?
QUEEN’S LADY-IN-WAITING
That you are a perfect child. That you inherited the courage and strength of your parents, the skills and wits of your father, and the intelligence and beauty of your mother. I bet your life is just perfect, isn’t it.
WAVERLY
(angrily)
Certainly not! I’ve suffered from a debilitating headache since I was ten, I’ve been kidnapped away from my family, and I’m being forced to marry a man I despise.
The Queen’s Lady-in-Waiting looks genuinely sad and sympathetic as she reaches her hands out and places them on Waverly’s shoulders.
QUEEN’S LADY-IN-WAITING
Thank you. That does make me feel better. Shall we move along?
Matilda’s eyes register surprise and disgust. As the Queen’s Lady-in-Waiting begins to pass along the hall, she is followed by Waverly, Matilda, the other ladies-in-waiting and the two soldiers. They pass through a great hall filled with suits of armor and other medieval accoutrements. Waverly walks arm-in-arm with Matilda, who somewhat supports her. Waverly and Matilda look around, though Waverly still looks pained. Waverly sees a small horn mounted on the wall. To no one in particular, she says--
WAVERLY
Is that what I think it is?
The Queen’s Lady-in-Waiting stops, which causes the rest of the party to do the same.
QUEEN’S LADY-IN-WAITING
(looking up at the object)
If you mean the horn of a unicorn, then yes. It was found on the grounds many years ago by a young girl who worked here in the castle. They say we used to have a herd of them in Guilder, but they are now all gone.
WAVERLY
They are not all gone.
QUEEN’S LADY-IN-WAITING
Oh? Have you heard something I have not?
WAVERLY
Not heard. Seen.
QUEEN’S LADY-IN-WAITING
Don’t play with me, girl.
MATILDA
It’s true. On our journey here, the princess saw a unicorn.
QUEEN’S LADY-IN-WAITING
Where?
WAVERLY
In the forest, near the edge of a farmer’s field.
GUILDERIAN SOLDIER ONE
(speaking up from the back)
It’s true, your ladyship. On one of our comfort stops, the princess told us she saw a unicorn in the forest.
QUEEN’S LADY-IN-WAITING
(looking at Matilda and then the soldiers)
And did anyone else see it?
Matilda and Guilderian Soldier One shake their heads.
GUILDERIAN SOLDIER ONE
No one else saw it, m’lady.
QUEEN’S LADY-IN-WAITING
(looking at Waverly condescendingly)
My dear, it’s easy to fantasize when we are in the grips of fear.
MATILDA
If my lady says she’s seen one, then she’s seen one.
WAVERLY
But what of the horn on the wall? Is it true that they cure all maladies?
QUEEN’S LADY-IN-WAITING
I can vouch for the power of that horn. The king used it on his mother who had lost her ability to speak. She drank water from it and regained her abilities instantly. I saw it with my own eyes when I was a young girl.
WAVERLY
Do you think it might cure headaches?
QUEEN’S LADY-IN-WAITING
(with mock sympathy)
Dearie, the horn of a unicorn only works once.
WAVERLY
Oh, I didn’t know.
MATILDA
Are you certain?
QUEEN’S LADY-IN-WAITING
Don’t you think it’s been tried again and again?
MATILDA
But, perhaps...
QUEEN’S LADY-IN-WAITING
You there--
(pointing at Guilderian Soldier Two and then at the horn)
--fetch me that horn.
Guilderian Soldier Two goes back to the spot they had passed and removes the horn from its brackets. He gives it to the Queen’s Lady-in-Waiting.
QUEEN’S LADY-IN-WAITING
Give me your canteen.
She fills the horn with water and hands it to Waverly. Waverly takes it slowly.
QUEEN’S LADY-IN-WAITING
We haven’t got all day. Drink it.
Waverly looks at the water a moment, then lifts it to her lips and drinks all of it swiftly. Magical music plays. She pauses, looking around as if to gauge its effects. Her shoulders drop. She reaches to squeeze her temples with one hand as she hands the horn back to the Queen’s Lady-in-Waiting.
QUEEN’S LADY-IN-WAITING
At least I have saved you the torment of wondering.
(handing the horn to the soldier)
Return this to its place.
(returning her attention to Waverly)
Now, let’s see about getting you a bath.
While the soldiers are distracted in returning the horn to its mounts, Matilda lingers near the edge and slips a sword from one of the suits of armor into her cloak. As the party continues down the hall we hear passionate Spanish guitar music and we--
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. A PICTURESQUE SCENE NEAR A BROOK - DAY
The guitar music continues and we see Diego who is seated, playing the music with a rustic guitar while Francisco sits on a stump nearby with his eyes closed and his chin resting on his hands on top of a walking stick.
The beautiful music continues for several seconds until Diego reaches the end of the piece. A moment later, Francisco says--
FRANCISCO
Very nice, Diego. You are almost ready.
DIEGO
Almost? But master, I have studied every day for five years. I feel I cannot wait any longer.
FRANCISCO
It’s not your skills that are in doubt.
Diego looks confused.
FRANCISCO
It’s the guitar.
DIEGO
But this is the only guitar we have.
FRANCISCO
And that is the problem. As I have told you many times this is a cheap learners guitar made in France.
DIEGO
That’s easily remedied. I have my savings from my work. I will buy a new one.
FRANCISCO
You don’t have enough money for a real guitar. You are well on your way to becoming a master. Not any guitar will do.
DIEGO
What do you propose?
FRANCISCO
You must use my guitar.
DIEGO
I thought this was your guitar.
FRANCISCO
No, I bought that for firewood. I have made many guitars, but I once made a guitar far superior to all the others.
DIEGO
In sound?
FRANCISCO
In passion.
Diego looks confused.
FRANCISCO
You’ve heard me speak of my travails.
DIEGO
Yes.
FRANCISCO
And my wife?
DIEGO
Yes.
FRANCISCO
But you’ve not heard the whole story.
DIEGO
Of your wife?
FRANCISCO
No, the guitar.
DIEGO
Oh, the guitar.
FRANCISCO
When I married Maria, I had twenty years and she had eighteen. On the day of our wedding, we planted a tree near our home as a sign of our new life together. We lived many happy years together and the Virgin blessed us with a son. We named him Paco. Some years later, my Maria died in childbirth and our second child, a daughter.
DIEGO
I did not know about a daughter. Did she have a name?
FRANCISCO
Her name was Maria also.
DIEGO
I am sorry for both Marias.
FRANCISCO
After the loss of the Marias, it was only me and Paco, and he kept me alive. When Paco was ten years old, he became my apprentice, and we set out to make the finest guitar the world had ever seen. To do so, we used the wood of the tree that I planted with his mother. For many months, Paco labored over that guitar, his sweat and sometimes his blood pouring into the wood, and, more often than not, his tears. He said he wanted to make the best guitar in the world for the Marias so they could hear it from heaven-- a guitar that would make the stars beam a little brighter.
Francisco pauses, as if lost in the past.
DIEGO
And what happened?
FRANCISCO
We did it.
DIEGO
You succeeded?
FRANCISCO
When I played it, I knew the two Marias could hear it from heaven.
DIEGO
I am so sorry for your losses.
FRANCISCO
You’ve not heard the half of it. For it was then that I learned that a lord who bought one of my guitars had lost his wife and child in childbirth as well.
DIEGO
So?
FRANCISCO
He said my guitar was the cause. He said that it was cursed. Paco challenged him to a duel. But before they could fight, the lord’s men slayed my precious Paco in the middle of the night. He was the only thing that I had-- him and the guitar.
DIEGO
I’m so sorry for your loss.
FRANCISCO
I am not done yet. Following Paco’s death, there was an inquisition. The church determined that my guitars were cursed and they took them all, saving one-- Paco’s guitar, for even the bishop recognized its worth.
DIEGO
At least you got to keep Paco’s guitar.
FRANCISCO
I am not done yet. They took Paco’s guitar from me as well.
DIEGO
When does this story end?
FRANCISCO
That was the end.
DIEGO
Thank God. I don’t know how you--
FRANCISCO
No, wait. I forgot to add that they also took my land. There, now that is the end.
DIEGO
I am so sorry for the Marias, Paco, the guitar, and your land.
FRANCISCO
It is no matter now. At least I still have both of my hands.
DIEGO
This is true.
FRANCISCO
Besides, I have had sixty-four years to think about it. Then you came, and you reminded me of Paco, and you have become a new son for me. And for this reason, you must get Paco’s guitar.
DIEGO
Do you know where it is?
FRANCISCO
The last I heard, it is with the Traveller Queen.
DIEGO
Who?
FRANCISCO
Carmen, the leader of the band who travels the countryside, performing music and tricks. I have done business with them many times. The last I heard, Paco’s guitar was with them.
DIEGO
Point me the way and I will go.
FRANCISCO
No, we shall go together. It will take great cunning, and I am a bit concerned for you.
DIEGO
Are they dangerous?
FRANCISCO
Many say so, but they are not. I’m not concerned about their intentions. I’m concerned about yours.
DIEGO
Mine?
FRANCISCO
I am worried that the attractive lifestyle of the Traveller’s will grab hold of your heart and keep you forever.
DIEGO
Nonsense.
FRANCISCO
We shall see.
DIEGO
When can we go?
FRANCISCO
As soon as we are packed. And we’d better hurry.
DIEGO
Why?
FRANCISCO
Because I’m one hundred and four. I could die at any moment.
CUT TO:
EXT. A FOREST TRAIL LEADING TO THE TRAVELLER VILLAGE - DUSK
It is late afternoon. We see Diego with the rustic guitar strapped to his back leading his burro, which carries Francisco and a few provisions. They are headed toward a dense section of the forest which contains brightly-colored wagons and tents with streamers. Campfire smoke rises into the sky. Lanterns hang in the trees.
FRANCISCO
Tell me again what I told you.
DIEGO
That no matter how attractive I find their lifestyle, I must not lose sight of the quest.
FRANCISCO
Be strong, Diego.
The two enter the Traveller Village. It has a strong Bohemian vibe. The people are dressed in bright colors and bandanas. Many round wagons and tents are tucked in the trees. People are making dinners around the fires and kids are playing around them. Children flock to Diego and Francisco.
TRAVELLER BOY ONE
Sirs! Would you like to see a trick?
The boy starts to juggle. TRAVELLER GIRL ONE takes the reins of the donkey to slow them down.
TRAVELLER GIRL ONE
I can sing for you.
She begins a haunting, sweet song.
FRANCISCO
(not stopping)
Maybe later, dearie. But we need to speak with your Queen. Is she here?
TRAVELLER GIRL ONE
What time later? Perhaps we can do a show for you after dinner.
FRANCISCO
That might work for us. But, honestly, we are in no hurry. We’ll have plenty of time for that later.
Diego turns abruptly and looks up at Francisco with equal parts confusion and anger.
DIEGO
You said we had to get in and get out quickly.
A gypsy violin begins to play romantically in the background.
FRANCISCO
(shrugs sheepishly)
I cannot help it. Every time I’m with these people I think that they truly have life figured out.
DIEGO
(exasperated)
You are going to be no help. I should have come alone.
FRANCISCO
Be strong, Diego.
DIEGO
(turning to the children)
Where is the Queen? We must see her right away.
Traveller Girl One points ahead. Traveller Boy One runs off in that direction and yells--
TRAVELLER BOY ONE
I will tell her you’re coming!
Diego and Francisco proceed into the inner circle of wagons centered around a campfire surrounded by stools. Pots hang over the fire and several adults are gathered around. Francisco dismounts and makes some funny squatting exercises. VANO, a middle-aged male traveller stands up and approaches them.
VANO
Ola, friends. I hope you come in peace.
Diego starts to speak but is interrupted by Francisco who is still squatting and standing.
DIEGO
Where can we--
FRANCISCO
Ola, friend. I assure you that we come in peace. We are travelling musicians as well.
Francisco stands up from his squatting position.
VANO
Are you also an acrobat?
FRANCISCO
(elbowing Vano in the ribs)
If I’m with the right person.
Vano laughs. Diego looks a little put out.
FRANCISCO
(extending a hand)
My name is Francisco de la Rosa.
VANO
(looking astonished)
Francisco de la Rosa, the guitar master?
FRANCISCO
(bowing)
The one and only.
Collectively, the crowd stands abruptly and gasps in fear.
VANO
(looking frightened)
But, you can’t be! You would have to be...
FRANCISCO
One hundred and four years old?
VANO
Yes.
FRANCISCO
I’m just as surprised by this as you are. Honestly, I don’t even watch what I eat.
Vano turns and looks at his frightened colleagues suspiciously, then looks at Diego, then returns his attention to Francisco.
VANO
Are... Are you still alive?
Francisco suddenly gains understanding and laughs.
FRANCISCO
Yes. I’m no ghost. Here, touch me.
Francisco holds his arm out to Vano, who recoils in fear.
VANO
Perhaps I should not touch you.
FRANCISCO
Oh, c’mon, friend. I am not a spirit.
VANO
Perhaps. Give me some time.
DIEGO
(cutting in)
We have come to see the queen.
VANO
Both of you?
DIEGO
Yes. Well, mainly me. My friend can come and go as he pleases.
VANO
Does he come and go often?
DIEGO
Unfortunately, he is with me all day. But I sense he would rather live with you.
The crowd around the fire gasps in horror again. Vano tries to put on a smile despite looking terrified.
FRANCISCO
(leaning toward Diego)
You’re not helping.
DIEGO
But the sooner we see the Queen, the sooner we will be on our way.
VANO
Yes, yes. Of course.
(motioning toward the largest caravan)
Right this way.
Diego and Francisco follow Vano a short way to the Queen’s Caravan, eyed suspiciously by the crowd. Vano climbs the steps and wraps on the door.
VANO
Carmen, you have a guest. Perhaps two. I’m not sure.
The sound of movement emanates from the large caravan. It rocks from side to side. Vano steps down and stands near Diego. The door opens to the Traveller Queen, CARMEN, a tall person in a flamboyant dress and heavy make-up. As the camera slowly zooms in on her face, we see she is middle-aged and somewhat beautiful. She looks at Francisco and Diego and smiles. But when she speaks, something is off kilter.
CARMEN
(in a deep manly voice)
Vano, who are these lovely gentlemen?
Diego’s face registers some shock.
VANO
Carmen, this is Diego.
CARMEN
Hello, Diego.
VANO
(nervously)
And this is... Well, I think you know him. This is Francisco de la Rosa.
CARMEN
The guitar master?
Francisco bows with a flourish.
FRANCISCO
Hello, your ladyship. I have not seen you for -- what has it been -- twenty or thirty years? You’re looking beautiful as ever.
CARMEN
Yes, and when I saw you then, you were already an old man. If this is really you, Francisco, you must be...
FRANCISCO
One hundred and four years old. It’s true, your ladyship.
CARMEN
But how?
FRANCISCO
It’s as much a mystery to me as it is to you. Every time I reach another year, I say to myself: gosh, I don’t want to live another year. And yet, the decades keep coming. Every time I think life can’t be any crueler, it reaches a new low. But it is lovely to see you and your people.
Carmen looks at Vano who raises his arms as if to say he’s not quite sure what to make of Francisco’s presence. Carmen turns to someone near her to give her directions to make more food, but it is barely audible as the camera cuts to--
DIEGO
(quietly, leaning in to Francisco)
Is she a man?
FRANCISCO
I don’t think so. Every time I’ve seen her she’s wearing a dress.
DIEGO
(nodding)
Good point.
CARMEN
(finishing her sidebar conversation)
And who is your lovely friend?
FRANCISCO
This is Diego, your ladyship. He is probably the reason God has kept me alive all these years, and for that I’m trying to forgive him. He is my apprentice and is now on the cusp of being a master of the guitar.
Carmen looks at Vano knowingly, then turns to Diego.
CARMEN
How lovely? The fortunes are aligning as we are in need of a new guitar master. We lost Julio, our finest player, just last month.
FRANCISCO
That’s perfect timing, your ladyship. Diego is the finest guitar player you will ever find. Pray tell, what happened to Julio?
CARMEN
At a performance in Arcos, a mob of women pressed their bodies against him until he was driven off the cliff where he plunged to his death.
Francisco elbows Diego in the ribs and says--
FRANCISCO
That sounds promising.
DIEGO
He died.
FRANCISCO
Well, the rest of the story has merit.
Diego leans into Francisco and squeezes his shoulder.
DIEGO
(quietly, but with force)
Master, you must focus on the object at hand. We are not staying here!
FRANCISCO
(shaking his head as if to clear his thoughts)
Of course we’re not. I’m good. Be strong, Diego.
DIEGO
You know, every time you say that I think you are talking to yourself more than you are talking to me.
FRANCISCO
(shrugging)
Perhaps.
Diego turns again to the Traveller Queen.
DIEGO
I cannot stay, your ladyship. I am on a quest and must return to Florin to play for Princess Waverly.
CARMEN
(looking unimpressed)
I’ve never heard of her.
DIEGO
She is the child of Queen Buttercup of Florin and Admiral Westley.
CARMEN
And I bet she’s just the loveliest creature in the whole world.
DIEGO
She is, your ladyship.
FRANCISCO
He’s actually never seen her.
Diego gives Francisco a dirty look.
FRANCISCO
What? It’s true.
CARMEN
Well, in that case, perhaps you can be persuaded to join our band. A bird in the hand is better than two in the bush, you know.
DIEGO
I’m afraid that I cannot, your ladyship. I have promised my uncle, Iñigo Montoya, that I will commit my life to this quest.
CARMEN
Then what brings you to me?
DIEGO
I have come for Paco’s guitar.
The crowd looks worried. The stakes have been raised.
CARMEN
Ah, I thought there would come a day when Francisco de la Rosa would come back for that guitar.
DIEGO
I have money. I will pay you what you paid for it.
CARMEN
Ten gold pieces?
DIEGO
Yes, I will pay you that.
CARMEN
No amount of money can buy that guitar, sweet Diego. The gifts of heaven do not have a price.
DIEGO
What if I told you it is not yours to keep? It was stolen from Francisco and therefore it is not rightfully yours.
We see fear in Vano’s face as well as the other Travellers who are crowded behind him. Carmen presses her fingers together and eyes Francisco and Diego carefully.
CARMEN
Are you an honest fellow, Diego?
DIEGO
I have always been known as such.
CARMEN
Then, perhaps we can make a deal.
DIEGO
But are you known to be an honest person?
CARMEN
I have never been accused of that, no.
DIEGO
Then I cannot make a deal with you.
CARMEN
Then you can leave.
DIEGO
Perhaps, rather than relying on honesty, we can seal the deal with repercussions.
CARMEN
You are a sly young thing, aren’t you. What do you propose?
DIEGO
If I fail to keep my end of the deal, you can take my life. I know I am honest, and I am ready to stand by my word.
CARMEN
Very well. And what if I am not honest?
DIEGO
Then I swear by all the saints above that the ghost of Francisco de la Rosa will haunt you and your band for the next one hundred years.
Barely perceptible fear registers on Carmen’s face. The faces of Vano and the others register terror. Vano shakes his head to warn her not to take the deal. Carmen steps down from the steps of her Caravan, approaches Diego, and shakes his hand.
CARMEN
Agreed. And one more thing.
DIEGO
Yes.
CARMEN
You have very lovely hands.
DIEGO
I have babied them for five years. I must take care of them for they are the salvation of the Princess.
CARMEN
(winking)
I bet they are.
DIEGO
Now, tell me about your deal.
CARMEN
Very well. And let it be witnessed by all present, be they souls living or dead. You must stay with us for three days. You will play music with us and live our lifestyle. If, by the forth day you decide this life is not the life you seek, you can buy Paco’s guitar for ten pieces of gold and freely leave with it.
DIEGO
Very well.
CARMEN
But, you have told me that you are a very honest man, to the extent that you will bet your life on it.
DIEGO
Yes.
CARMEN
On the morning of the fourth day, you must look me in the eye and tell me honestly that you think you could find more happiness back in Florin than you could with us. If you can not honestly say yes, you will join our band and live the free and happy life of a traveller.
Diego looks at Francisco. Francisco shrugs.
FRANCISCO
It sounds like a win-win to me.
DIEGO
Very well. I agree. When do we start?
CARMEN
Now, but tomorrow is the first of the three days.
DIEGO
(with conviction)
Good. When’s dinner?
CARMEN
Very soon. But, first I must assign you a camp.
(turning to Vano)
Vano, bring your family over.
Vano turns toward the camp members behind him in the darkness and motions for his family to come forward.
CARMEN
Francisco will stay with me as I suspect no one else has the magic to withstand him. But you, Diego, you will stay with Vano’s family.
From the campfire area behind, VANO’S WIFE steps forward with four children-- the youngest a toddler, to the oldest, SEVDA, a very beautiful, voluptuous young woman around eighteen years of age. As Sevda steps forward into the light, lined up next to her younger brothers and sisters, we see her in a midriff-baring gypsy outfit worthy of a belly dancer. With her beauty on full display, she smiles bashfully at Diego.
CARMEN
I’d like you to meet his oldest daughter, Sevda. She has come of age and has been told to find a husband. Sevda, I am assigning you to stay with Diego while he is with us. Answer his questions and show him our ways. Show him Julio’s things, which he would inherit should he choose to stay with us. Take care of all of his needs.
SEVDA
(glancing at Diego, smiling, then turning to Carmen)
I’d be happy to, señora.
Diego looks at Sevda, somewhat gobsmacked, then turns to Francisco.
FRANCISCO
(looking skeptical)
Be strong, Diego.
As Vano’s wife comes to Diego and leads him toward the family, we--
CUT TO:
EXT. A SHIP DOCKED IN GUILDER - DAY
Hubert slowly wheels Westley down a gangplank as Miracle Marvin follows with his long staff. Armed soldiers are posted everywhere. Soldiers in watchtowers scan the sea.
WESTLEY
(observing a man in the tower)
It appears Guilder is well-prepared for another assault.
HUBERT
It seems so, sir.
They are now wheeling toward two or three armed guards at the point where the dock reaches the shore. The guards are hassling people debarking ahead of them, checking their bags and cargo and searching for weapons. They look quite intimidating. Finally, it’s the trio’s turn. The main guard looks them over and appears both unimpressed and a little annoyed.
BORDER GUARD
Just what our country needs! Three more beggars. Pass.
WESTLEY
Don’t you want to check us for weapons?
BORDER GUARD
Why should I?
WESTLEY
We could be planning an assault on the king.
The border guards laugh heartily.
BORDER GUARD
Keep moving. Keep moving. And if you plan on staying, make sure you get jobs! We don’t need more freeloaders.
Hubert wheels Westley farther up the road.
WESTLEY
You know, I never feel welcome in this country.
HUBERT
I’ve never felt welcome in any country until I reached Florin.
Westley reaches back and pats Hubert’s hand.
WESTLEY
You will always be welcome in any country where I have sway.
HUBERT
I know that, sir.
WESTLEY
But first, we must find the others and get home safe.
HUBERT
Agreed. Where to now, your highness?
WESTLEY
(pointing ahead)
Straight on to Guilder Castle.
CUT TO:
EXT. TRAVELLER CAMP - NIGHT
Diego dances with Sevda around a bonfire as several musicians play instruments around a small platform near them. Carmen and Francisco are among the crowd watching the music and dance. We see a close-up of Diego and Sevda dancing.
SEVDA
(playfully)
Your dancing is not nearly as fine as your guitar playing.
Diego laughs then says--
DIEGO
I have dedicated thousands of hours to the guitar, but only a few to dancing.
SEVDA
I will work on it with you.
DIEGO
Thank you.
SEVDA
But truly, you are the finest guitar player I have ever heard. You are even better than Julio.
DIEGO
I ought to be. I have dedicated five of my best years to studying under the finest guitar player in the world.
The song comes to a halt and so does the dancing. Both Diego and Sevda rest their hands on their knees to catch their breaths. One of the guitar players plays a riff and announces-
TRAVELLER GUITAR PLAYER
Flamenco!
DIEGO
(turning again to Sevda)
Will you dance the Flamenco?
SEVDA
(scoffing)
Who, me? I cannot dance the Flamenco. It is an expression of pain and loss that only a mature woman can know. Look at me, I am too young and too beautiful to dance the Flamenco.
DIEGO
Ah, I see.
In the background a more mature woman steps up near a small wooden platform near the guitar players. Francisco carries his small stump and places it very near the platform, evidently eager by the dance to come.
SEVDA
(looping her arm in Diego’s)
Tell me honestly, Diego. Is Francisco de la Rosa a ghost?
DIEGO
I will not tell you, for he is my leverage in this deal.
SEVDA
And I’m learning that I am Carmen’s leverage in this deal. But you should know that I am not bought and sold so easily.
DIEGO
I wouldn’t dream of it.
SEVDA
But you would inherit Julio’s things.
DIEGO
What does he have that I should inherit?
SEVDA
Would you like to see?
Sevda grabs a lit torch from a bracket in a tree and leads Diego through the whimsical and magical ambience of the Gypsy Camp to a caravan near the edge of the encampment. The caravan is cloaked in darkness except for the light cast by Sevda’s small torch. The sounds of the other revelers lingers behind them. They pause outside the structure.
DIEGO
This was the home of Julio?
SEVDA
Yes. My father and many others helped him build it. It is a very fine caravan. Very strong.
DIEGO
And no one else has moved in?
SEVDA
No, you know how my people are-- we have many superstitions about the dead. Carmen and the others are worried that Julio’s spirit will latch onto these things if they are not taken over by an outsider.
DIEGO
Should I be worried?
SEVDA
No, you did not know him. And you are an outsider. All of these things would become yours-- not Julio’s.
(a beat)
Shall we have a look inside?
Diego follows Sevda up to the door. She hands him the torch and pulls a primitive key from a pocket in her dress and unlocks a bolt.
DIEGO
You have a key to Julio’s caravan?
SEVDA
Carmen gave it to me. To show you.
The two go inside. Sevda looks around and finds a rope running to the roof. She pulls it, which opens a hatch in the roof. She lights a torch under the open hatch and sets her torch in a second bracket. The light illuminates a simple but charming living space. Various cooking utensils hang on the wall. A bed big enough for two is adorned with comfortable-looking pillows and blankets. There are several cabinets and a locked chest bolted to the floor.
SEVDA
All of this will be yours should you choose to stay with us. Of course, you would decorate it to your own tastes, or to your wife’s tastes if you choose to take a wife.
Diego is distracted by Sevda’s beauty but reaches for a beam overhead and pats it to test it’s strength. But, he’s looking at Sevda when he says--
DIEGO
It seems well-built and comfortable.
SEVDA
It is very well built.
DIEGO
But my donkey cannot pull this.
SEVDA
Of course your burro cannot pull this. There is a fine draft horse with the others. She has long legs and can go for days.
Diego looks at Sevda whose beauty shines in the light of the torches.
DIEGO
(haltingly)
Am I to understand that your heart once belonged to Julio as well?
SEVDA
(scoffing)
Oh, please. Julio was popular with women wherever we went, and he often made advances toward me, but I could not have a man like that. I want a one-woman man - one who deserves me and will respect me. But when I find such a man, he will get all of me.
Diego stands transfixed for a moment. The magnetism between the two is evident.
DIEGO
(quietly, glancing to the side)
Be strong, Diego.
SEVDA
Why do you keep saying that?
DIEGO
Because I am on a quest, charged by my uncle to help the Princess.
Sevda turns away and finds something to play with. She fidgets with the curtains.
SEVDA
And, are you in love with this princess?
DIEGO
How does one know?
SEVDA
I’m told that if you are in love you would go to the ends of the earth for that person.
DIEGO
Then I must love her, for I have come all the way to Cádiz.
SEVDA
I see.
There is a moment of awkward silence and pain and confusion on Diego’s face. Then, he says--
DIEGO
And Paco’s guitar? Is it here?
SEVDA
(pointing)
It is locked in a cabinet beneath the bed along with a botijo of water and a flowering orchid to bathe it in perfect humidity.
DIEGO
Can I see it?
SEVDA
(shaking her head)
Carmen has not given me that key. But I suppose I could show you this.
Sevda goes to the locked chest on the floor.
SEVDA
Bring a torch.
Diego removes one of the torches from the bracket on the wall and comes near Sevda. She goes to her hands and knees and retrieves another key from her pocket and unlocks the chest. She opens it. The firelight illuminates gold pieces piled nearly to the top. Diego gazes upon it.
SEVDA
Julio earned the highest prices throughout Andalucía. He bought fine clothes and a nice horse. After that, he had everything he needed and the money just piled up.
Diego reaches for the gold and scoops a handful before dumping it slowly back into the chest.
DIEGO
And I would inherit this money as well?
SEVDA
That is what Carmen has decreed.
(a beat)
But, of course, you are in love with a woman you have never seen, and so, all of these things will end up in the hands of another man.
The camera dissolves on Diego’s face looking pensive and troubled.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. GUILDER CASLTE GATE
Westley, Hubert and Marvin approach the castle gate. A merchant is trying to enter the gate ahead of them. The merchant is at a checkpoint where soldiers search his wagon and check him for weapons. As the three approach the checkpoint, Hubert (still pushing the wheelchair) leans in to Westley and says--
HUBERT
What is the plan, sir?
WESTLEY
We ask for an audience with the king.
HUBERT
And what will we do with the king?
WESTLEY
We will find some weapon in the castle, hold it to the king’s throat and demand he hand over Waverly and the others. We’ll demand horses and safe passage and the seven of us will beat it out of here. Once we’re back in Florin, I’ll let the king go freely... if Waverly has been treated well.
HUBERT
And if she hasn’t?
WESTLEY
For the king’s sake, let’s just pray that she has.
It’s the trio’s turn to be inspected. The guards scan them, looking bored.
CHIEF GATE GUARD
Pass.
WESTLEY
I demand an audience with the king.
Chief Gate Guard turns to the other guards. They burst into laughter.
CHIEF GATE GUARD
I think I’ll demand one, too. Perhaps I can get a bigger beer ration.
WESTLEY
I’m being perfectly serious.
CHIEF GATE GUARD
You can’t just demand an audience with the king.
WESTLEY
What if I told you that I am the Prince Consort of Florin?
CHIEF GATE GUARD
And what if I told you that I’m the Shah of Persia. Move along.
WESTLEY
If you think I’m a commoner, tell me what it takes for a commoner to get an audience with the King.
CHIEF GATE GUARD
The only commoners who see the king are criminals.
WESTLEY
Horse thieves?
CHIEF GATE GUARD
Not good enough.
WESTLEY
Deer poachers?
CHIEF GATE GUARD
Not even close.
WESTLEY
Murderers.
CHIEF GATE GUARD
Too common.
WESTLEY
What then?
CHIEF GATE GUARD
(thinking)
Conspirators.
WESTLEY
Like a group of men planning to kidnap the king?
CHIEF GATE GUARD
Exactly.
Westley casts a sideways glance at Hubert, momentarily dumbstruck by the irony.
WESTLEY
Well then, I feel duty bound to tell you that my friends and I have come to Guilder with the express purpose of kidnapping the king to force him to hand over my daughter, the Princess Waverly.
A beat of silence before the guards burst into laughter again. Meanwhile, more carts and pedestrians have built up in a line behind them.
CHIEF GATE GUARD
Ok, enough jabbering. Move along!
With a few pushes from the guard to speed them along, Hubert wheels Westley away, followed by Marvin.
WESTLEY
This is proving harder than I thought.
Hubert cocks his head toward some equipment near a shop.
HUBERT
There’s a wheelbarrow over there.
WESTLEY
I like where your head’s at, Hubert, but not helpful in this situation.
HUBERT
We just need to prove that we actually are conspirators trying to kidnap the king.
WESTLEY
Precisely. Any ideas, Marvin?
MARVIN
We could catapult over the castle walls.
WESTLEY
We’re already in the castle walls.
MARVIN
Well, that’s good progress.
WESTLEY
(more quietly, to Hubert)
Hubert, tell me: how long have you been pretending that Miracle Marvin is the wise man?
HUBERT
(sighs)
I guess it has been fifteen years now. How long have you known?
WESTLEY
I’ve suspected it from the first week you arrived. But why?
HUBERT
He was a struggling Miracle Man, for obvious reasons, and no one would take me seriously, for obvious reasons. But with my brains and his appearance, business boomed. Besides, every once in a while he has a great idea.
(turning now to Marvin and speaking slowly and loudly)
Marvin, what is the best way for a man to get arrested?
Marvin pauses for a moment, stroking his long gray beard, looking very wise.
MARVIN
By killing a lady of the evening.
Westley and Marvin grimace.
WESTLEY
Have you got anything else?
MARVIN
You can try to kill the king.
WESTLEY
(thinking a moment)
That’s brilliant! The best way to prove we have sinister intentions is to carry out a sinister act.
HUBERT
And it doesn’t even have to be a well-thought out act because--
WESTLEY
--we’re trying to get caught anyway. We simply need to try halfheartedly to kill the king so that we can get arrested and gain an audience with the king so we can kidnap him and demand the return of the princess.
HUBERT
It’s simple! Wonderful idea, Marvin.
MARVIN
We’re going to use the catapult?
WESTLEY
No, Marvin, we’ve moved on from the catapult. Hubert, wheel me back to the guards.
Hubert wheels Westley around. They approach the guards who are busy inspecting wagons. Chief Gate Guard looks annoyed when he sees them return.
CHIEF GATE GUARD
Leaving so soon? So much the better.
WESTLEY
I have a question.
CHIEF GATE GUARD
The brothels are near the palace walls.
WESTLEY
No, I wonder if the king ever passes through the streets and when?
CHIEF GATE GUARD
Why? What are you up to?
WESTLEY
We’ve changed our plans. We’re no longer trying to kidnap the king. We’re planning to assassinate him.
The guards burst into laughter again.
CHIEF GATE GUARD
He goes out this way every morning before dawn to go hunting.
WESTLEY
And when does he return?
CHIEF GATE GUARD
About nine of the morning.
WESTLEY
Perfect. Thank you. And don’t forget I asked you these questions. Let’s go, Hubert.
The three turn and leave as the guard yells out--
CHIEF GATE GUARD
He’s not going to listen to whatever petition you shout out to him!
WESTLEY
We’re not trying to talk to him; we’re just trying to kill him. If you need to find us, we’ll be staying at one of the inns on this street.
As they put some distance between them and the guards, Westley says--
WESTLEY
Now, we just need to secure one of these upper rooms and when the king passes by in the morning, we’ll throw a pitcher down.
HUBERT
That just might work, sir.
WESTLEY
It will work.
HUBERT
I told you Marvin has great ideas.
CUT TO:
INT. WAVERLY'S BEDCHAMBER IN GUILDER CASTLE - DAY
Waverly, Matilda and Iñigo are in their usual positions-- Waverly under the covers in bed, Matilda knitting in a chair near her, and Iñigo sharpening the sword Matilda stole earlier with a piece of leather.
There is a rap on the door. Iñigo quickly hides the sword next to the broken bottle top under Waverly’s mattress. Waverly sticks her head out of the covers.
WAVERLY
(rather rudely)
What do you want?
ALADRIC (O.S.)
It is I, the prince. I want to spend some time with you... alone... to get to know you better.
Matilda glances worriedly at Iñigo.
WAVERLY
Go away! I’m not interested in you and I will never marry you.
The sound of unlocking bolts emanates from the door. The door opens. Guilderian Soldier One enters first, followed by PRINCE ALADRIC, a very handsome, square-jawed, muscular fellow gussied up in colorful tights and short leggings. A sword hangs from his side. Aladric’s sidekick, ROGER, a young man like him, stands near him. One or two more soldiers enter as well.
ALADRIC
(smiling at Waverly’s beauty)
Princess Waverly, my love for you can’t keep me away any longer.
WAVERLY
Go away! I have a headache.
Waverly throws the covers back over her head and flops back down in the bed.
ALADRIC
(turning to ROGER)
Why do they always say that?
Roger shrugs.
ALADRIC
Now, now, my dearest. Is that any way to talk to your future husband?
WAVERLY
(from under the covers)
I’m not going to marry you no matter what you say. I do not love you and you do not love me.
ALADRIC
Oh, but I do love you. In fact, I’ve come to take you from this horrid chamber to bring you to my own bedchamber. It’s time you get used to being my wife.
Aladric takes a step toward the bed. Matilda stands in alarm but doesn’t know what to do. Iñigo springs into action, grabbing the sword in his right hand and the bottle top in his left, and places himself between Prince Aladric and the bed with sword pointed at Aladric’s chest.
ALADRIC
My, my, my... I’ve never seen an old man move so fast. Do you even know how to use that thing?
IÑIGO
I’ve studied a bit.
ALADRIC
Who are you?
IÑIGO
My name is Iñigo Montoya. The only thing you need to know about me is that I will defend the Princess to my very last breath.
ALADRIC
So be it.
Prince Aladric draws his sword and jabs toward Iñigo who quickly bends his body to the side to avoid the jab. Aladric, slightly impressed, says--
ALADRIC
Ah, I see you can dance.
Aladric snaps for the guards to engage Iñigo with him. They draw their weapons and approach Iñigo. Camera zooms in on Iñigo who points his sword at Aladric and says--
IÑIGO
Let’s dance!
Iñigo launches into action with all three of them. While he holds off the Prince and one guard with his sword, he uses the broken bottle top in his other hand to engage with the third man. As the third man jabs at Iñigo, Iñigo is able to capture the blade as it slides into the mouth and through the neck of the bottle. As soon as the sword goes in all the way to the hilt, Iñigo yanks the sword out of the guard’s hand and stabs him, still holding the man’s sword in the neck of the bottle.
The prince steps back a moment as if he didn’t actually expect one of his own men to die. He eyes the dead man on the floor as alarm fills his eyes. Looking briefly at Roger and the other guard, he cocks his head toward Iñigo.
ALADRIC
Roger, a little assistance please.
Now all four of them have swords pointed at the Spaniard.
ALADRIC
You’ll pay for that, old man. I may have underestimated you, but now it’s four blades against one.
IÑIGO
I think that your math is wrong.
Aladric looks around as if counting in his head, then blinks slowly in annoyance.
ALADRIC
I’m not counting the bottle top.
IÑIGO
Neither am I. There’s something you should know.
ALADRIC
And what is that?
Iñigo uses the bottle top to launch the dead soldier’s blade into the air. It arcs over the bed toward Waverly and Matilda who are both now standing. Waverly catches it and assumes fighting position.
IÑIGO
The princess is good with the sword.
Now two of the four Guilderian fighters (the prince and one guard) immediately turn the blades away from Iñigo and toward the princess. Fear shines in the prince’s eyes before he throws his voice toward the open door and yells--
ALADRIC
We need more guards at once!
Princess Waverly clashes swords with the prince and the guard. The prince’s face registers equal parts fear and confusion as he slowly retreats, leaving the guard to do most of the fighting with the princess.
Iñigo quickly dispatches the other guard and fights with Roger briefly before more soldiers pour in through the door and engage him. The bodies pile up around Iñigo, but he is not able to parry every thrust. Wounds accumulate on his body. Blood stains his sleeves, pants and abdomen.
Aladric sneaks toward the back and watches the fray from relative safety while occasionally sending in a thrust.
ALADRIC
Kill that man, but don’t harm the princess!
Princess Waverly kills the first guard she engaged with before commencing with another. A few more guards enter the room.
ALADRIC
You there, help him restrain the princess, but don’t harm her. I’ll teach her not to draw a sword against me.
The princess is not able to deal with fighters in front of her and behind her. As she clashes swords with a guard in front of her, another grabs her from behind. She jumps and kicks one guard in the chest, sending him flying, but after that there is nothing she can do. The prince steps in, grabs her wrist and knocks the sword out of her hand with the hilt of his own sword. She winces in pain, then watches as Iñigo loses ground.
Iñigo is slowing down. More of his blood is on the outside than inside. He retreats slowly over the bodies of the men he has already killed.
ALADRIC
What is wrong with you? He’s just an old man. Kill him!
Iñigo’s eyes turn briefly to see the situation the princess is in, and in that brief lapse of concentration, Roger lands a blow into Iñigo’s belly. His face contorts and his reaction shows that it is a mortal wound. He drops his own sword and clutches his belly as blood soaks more of his shirt. The others step back and lower their swords. Prince Aladric steps over to Iñigo and says--
ALADRIC
Let me deal with this insolent old goat.
Iñigo, who is now unarmed, looks up at Aladric before Aladric plunges his sword in his chest. Iñigo turns to Waverly and says--
IÑIGO
(gasping)
I’m sorry, Princess.
WAVERLY
No! Iñigo! Let go of me you bastard!
The guard who is holding her from behind looks at the prince.
ALADRIC
(to the others)
Pick up those swords!
The guards quickly pick up any swords amongst the bodies.
ALADRIC
Let her say her goodbyes.
The guard releases his hold and Waverly rushes to Iñigo who is now on his knees. Matilda, who has been lingering in the corner, grabs some bedding and joins her lady at her side.
WAVERLY
Iñigo! Uncle!
Iñigo is now lying on the floor. He slouches over into Waverly’s arms.
IÑIGO
I love it when you call me uncle. You have always been family to me.
Matilda hands the bedding to Waverly who presses it against several different spots, not knowing which of the many to choose, then settles on the spot on Iñigo’s chest where Aladric stabbed him.
WAVERLY
(starting to cry)
You’re going to be fine.
IÑIGO
I have failed you.
WAVERLY
No, you have not. You have been everything to me-- my constant protector, my nurse, my music player, my friend.
IÑIGO
If I could play music for you from heaven, know that I would.
WAVERLY
(through more tears)
I will be fine, Uncle.
IÑIGO
There is still hope.
WAVERLY
Yes, there is. I know there is. You will recover.
IÑIGO
No, hope for you. There is no hope for me.
Iñigo clasps Waverly’s hand on his chest. He turns his eyes toward heaven. A glow illuminates his tear-streaked face from above.
IÑIGO
Blessed virgin, if I can trouble you for one last request. It is not for my life. I have given my all to protect the princess. I pray that you find Diego, wherever he may be, and be a strength and comfort to him in his quest. Give him wisdom and lead him where he should go. Help him to be strong.
Iñigo’s voice starts to waver as he runs out of breath.
WAVERLY
No, uncle! Stay with me. Stay with me.
IÑIGO
And watch over the princess. Protect her from these evil men and guide her to become the woman and the leader I always knew that she could be.
With these words, Iñigo gives his last breath and his head slumps to the side. Waverly is distraught and cradles his head in both hands, shaking him gently.
WAVERLY
Uncle! Uncle! Stay with me! Listen to me!
Matilda leans over her mistress and hugs her. But Aladric motions to his guards to pull the Princess away, which they do while she kicks and fights. They place her in front of the prince. As soon as they set her feet on the ground and let go of her, she slaps the prince hard across the face.
WAVERLY
You cur! Mark my words, you’ll pay for that. You are the evilest, vilest creature to walk the face of the earth!
ALADRIC
I would hold my tongue if I were you.
Aladric’s face grows angrier and angrier the more hurt he feels. His lip twitches.
WAVERLY
I will not hold my tongue! And I will not marry you. Not in a thousand years. Not if you were the last man on the planet. I would let the human race die before I would be with you or bare you a child.
Aladric grabs Waverly’s wrist and yanks her toward the door as the guards make way for him.
ALADRIC
Oh, is that so? We’ll see about that.
The prince storms out of the room dragging the princess behind him-- all of this accompanied by the sound of intense Spanish guitar music. As the ominous guitar plays, we--
CUT TO:
EXT. TRAVELLER CAMP - NIGHT
Diego sits around a campfire playing the music we just heard on his guitar. Sevda, Vano, Francisco and Carmen sit around the circle of light enjoying the merrymaking. Diego finishes the music with a flourish and the camp claps for him and he smiles and revels in the atmosphere.
FRANCISCO
You see what I told you, your ladyship.
CARMEN
You were not wrong, Francisco. Diego, your talent is beyond compare.
DIEGO
Thank you, señora. Coming from musicians such as yourselves, that means a lot.
CARMEN
You shall be a big hit at the feria in Malaga... That is, if you’ve decided to stay with us.
The happiness on Diego’s face is replaced by pain.
DIEGO
I would love to play at the feria in Malaga.
VANO
Oh, the people will love you.
CARMEN
Then why don’t you come with us... This is your final day, Diego. I think you’ve had enough time to get a taste for the life that awaits you with us.
DIEGO
Yes, señora. I’ve never had so much fun in my life. And truly, I feel like you are family to me.
CARMEN
Then be our family. So much more awaits you. You can’t imagine the ferias-- the wine, the music, the adulation of the crowd. And the food, and going to bed after a long day with the woman you love.
Diego glances quickly at Sevda, then looks embarrassed that he was caught looking. Carmen sees it and smiles.
DIEGO
But, your majesty, I have promised my uncle, Iñigo Montoya...
CARMEN
How long has it been since you’ve seen your uncle?
DIEGO
Five years.
CARMEN
And how long has it been since you’ve seen the princess?
DIEGO
Five years.
CARMEN
Do you even know if they are still alive?
DIEGO
I hope so.
CARMEN
And how old is the princess now?
DIEGO
She must be eighteen.
CARMEN
Oh Diego, don’t you think that she will have been married off already? That is the fate of a princess. And eighteen is older than most. I’m sure she is the wife of some prince somewhere in a far off land.
Diego’s head droops slightly over Francisco’s cheap guitar where his hands rest.
DIEGO
You are probably correct, señora.
CARMEN
I’m sure that I am.
DIEGO
But what of my promise to my uncle?
CARMEN
What did you promise him?
DIEGO
That I would go to Spain and find a guitar master and bring him back to Florin.
CARMEN
And did you find a guitar master?
DIEGO
Yes, I found some, but they could not come.
CARMEN
Then you have fulfilled your vow. You sought every master from Cartagena to Sevilla. You have done your part.
DIEGO
But now I am a master.
CARMEN
(smiling)
You are very close, but not quite.
DIEGO
You don’t think so?
CARMEN
You will be soon, I believe. But, more importantly, you have fulfilled your vow. There is no need for you in Florin. I assure you that the princess is likely in a foreign land married to a foreign prince who has already found some other musician for her. She may even be happy with this prince.
DIEGO
My head tells me that what you say is true.
CARMEN
So you should stay with us.
DIEGO
But my heart tells me that I have promised my uncle.
Carmen looks mildly deflated.
CARMEN
Remember, you must look me in the eye and tell me honestly that you don’t think you would find a happier life with us.
DIEGO
I understand.
CARMEN
Before you tell me your final decision, there is one more thing you must do... for your sake more than for ours.
Carmen looks at Sevda and back at Diego.
CARMEN
Perhaps you know that Sevda is one of the finest palm readers in the land.
DIEGO
I did not know that.
CARMEN
Has she read your palm?
DIEGO
She has not, señora.
CARMEN
Sevda, take Diego to your wagon and reveal the courses of his life.
Sevda pauses a second, then stands and extends a hand toward Diego.
SEVDA
Come with me, Diego.
Diego stands, takes Sevda’s hand and follows her to her round, colorful caravan. There is a sign on the door with a palm schematic that says “Quiromancia” and “Adivinación”.
The two go inside the charming, dimly lit wagon. Sevda pulls a chord, which drops a curtain between her living quarters and a common space. The curtain has a “Quiromancia” sign on it as well. She places a second chair at a small table and drapes a red cloth over it, then lights incense and candles and places them on the table. She retrieves a headscarf with a medallion from a cabinet and places it on her head. All this time, she appears to be going through both ritual and concentration. Finally she sits at her place in front of the curtain.
SEVDA
Have a seat.
Diego sits down. Sevda closes her eyes and rests her hands palms upward on the table. A gentle breeze rustles the curtains. She opens her eyes and says--
SEVDA
Give me your hand.
Diego wipes his palm on his pants and presents it on the table. Sevda takes his hand and studies it.
SEVDA
I see that you are a guitar player.
DIEGO
You are amazing at this.
SEVDA
Quiet.
Sevda uses her index finger to gently trace the lines in his palm. Occasionally, she glances up at his face with a studying expression. Her eyes shine like the jewel on her forehead.
SEVDA
I see that you will have a long life... and a happy one.
She smiles at him. Diego, having been somewhat tense, relaxes a little. He obviously does put some stock in Sevda’s skills.
DIEGO
And as for love?
She looks somewhat worried to see what she might find as she returns to the study of his palm, tracing the lines again with her finger.
SEVDA
You are a fortunate soul, Diego. For I see that you will also be happy in love and have a long relationship with a woman that continues to the end of your life. Not everything will be ‘happily every after’ of course. Some days the two of you will fight. Some days you will dislike each other. But always, your love will bring you back together. You will have children. And always, throughout all of this, you will be a loving husband and she will be a loving wife.
She looks up at him. It’s difficult to read her face.
DIEGO
Truly? Is that truly what the fortunes say? Or, is this some kind of trick?
SEVDA
(flashing anger)
I am not a trickster, Diego. What I am telling you is what your palm is telling me.
DIEGO
And who is this woman? Is it you?
SEVDA
That I cannot tell.
DIEGO
Well, that would be helpful information.
SEVDA
Palms do not have people’s names written on them.
DIEGO
(flirtatiously, testing)
What if I write your name on my palm?
SEVDA
It does not work that way. No matter what we try, we cannot alter the courses of destiny.
DIEGO
Sevda, I am torn in so many ways. But I do know this-- you are the kind of woman who could brighten a man’s life in the way that you describe.
Sevda smiles.
DIEGO
But as you were speaking, I felt the Virgin speaking to me.
SEVDA
Oh? And what did she say?
DIEGO
She said that my uncle has been calling for me. I... I believe that I must go home.
Her smile fades, but she does not look surprised. She takes both of Diego’s hands, closes them, squeezes them and leans in close.
SEVDA
(sadly)
If I am to be completely honest, Diego, I saw that in your palm as well.
DIEGO
Is there anything else you didn’t tell me?
SEVDA
Nothing else. I just didn’t have the heart to tell you.
DIEGO
I understand. And thank you.
SEVDA
For what?
DIEGO
For everything.
Diego gives her hands a squeeze, stands and goes to the door.
SEVDA
Diego?
Diego stops with one hand on the half-open door and turns.
DIEGO
Yes?
SEVDA
Where are you going?
DIEGO
To get my guitar.
CUT TO:
INT. OUTSIDE ALADRIC’S BEDCHAMBER - NIGHT
Two soldiers guard either side of the door. Roger rests with his back and one boot propped against the wall, cleaning his fingernails with a small dagger.
The door opens. Aladric bursts out, still adjusting his cape and belt. He smiles at Roger.
ROGER
(still leaning against the wall)
It sounds like you had quite a fight on your hands.
Aladric reaches up to touch some bleeding scratches on his cheek.
ALADRIC
She is quite fierce.
ROGER
Having a headache for eight years will do that to you. I thought you might have to call me in.
ALADRIC
She is no threat without a sword.
ROGER
And? How did it go?
ALADRIC
Well, let’s just say that she won’t be seeing more unicorns.
The two laugh smugly.
ROGER
Are you going to leave her in there?
ALADRIC
Yes, it is her bedchamber now as well. She might as well get used to it.
(turning to the guards)
The princess is not to leave this room. No one in and no one out. She has access to my private garden and that is enough.
(turning again to Roger and starting down the corridor with him)
What is it that my father wants?
ROGER
It’s nearly time for the hunt.
ALADRIC
Already? Wonderful! It will be the second favorite thing I’ve done all day.
As they laugh, we...
CUT TO:
EXT. ROOF OF INN IN GUILDER - MORNING
Westly, Hubert and Marvin are positioned near the edge of the roof. Westly is being held awkwardly by the other two to peer over the wall.
WESTLEY
Ouch! You’re pressing me against the tile.
MARVIN
Sorry, your highness.
Marvin shifts his hands out of sight of the camera.
WESTLEY
(speaking with his face pressed against the wall)
Not there, Marvin. Somewhere else please.
HUBERT
(indicating Westley’s armpit)
Hold him here, Marvin.
MARVIN
Is that better?
WESTLEY
Much better. Thank you.
Once his head rises above the wall, Westley scans up and down the street two stories below. We see a royal entourage passing through the narrow street toward the inn.
WESTLEY
Here they come. We’ve got about twenty seconds.
MARVIN
Is that about a minute?
HUBERT
No, Marvin, it’s a third of a minute.
MARVIN
Then we must hurry.
WESTLEY
Put me down.
The two lower Westley awkwardly as his face is smashed and dragged along the wall until he sits again in his wheelchair.
WESTLEY
Get the projectiles.
Hubert grabs a small stack of roof tiles. Marvin grabs some apples out of a bag at his side. Westley eyes the apples suspiciously.
WESTLEY
Marvin, it must look plausible that we are trying to kill the king.
MARVIN
Yes?
WESTLEY
Has any assassin in the history of the world tried to kill a person by throwing apples at them?
Marvin sheepishly returns the apples to his bag.
HUBERT
(quietly, but with some urgency)
Here they come, your highness.
WESTLEY
Give me a tile. We will each throw one.
Westly cannot see over the wall, but Hubert peers over it.
HUBERT
Just a few more seconds.
WESTLEY
Tell me when.
HUBERT
Wait... wait... okaaay... NOW!
Hubert and Marvin toss their tiles down toward the king. Westly flips his over the wall.
HUBERT
(turning toward Westley)
Not even close, sir.
Westley purses his lips in angry disappointment. Hubert and Marvin peer over the wall and watch their tiles fall toward the party. From Westley’s vantage point which is out of view, we hear smashing and the commotion of men and horses.
WESTLEY
Well, how about yours?
HUBERT
Mine smashed on the cobblestones, but Marvin’s... Wow, he might have actually injured the king.
WESTLEY
You’re full of surprises, Marvin. Hurry, lift me again!
They awkwardly lift Westley again, pressing his face against the wall again, until his head appears over the top. We see the party, including the King, Prince Aladric and Roger in a small state of disarray and men trying to calm the horses.
WESTLEY
(shouting to the crowd below)
Take that, your majesty! You scoundrel! You deserve...
Hubert and Marvin start to lose their grip and Westley’s head starts to slip below the edge of the wall.
WESTLEY
(as his head inches downward)
Oops... ouch... give me one second.
(and his head disappears)
Behind and below the wall, Hubert and Marvin reposition their hands and hoist Westley again. His head reappears above the wall.
WESTLEY
Ah-ha! I bet you thought I’d run off. I’m back! What I was saying is that you deserve to die, you scabby mongrel. I am Prince Regent Westley and I have just tried to kill you.
KING KARLOFF
(shouting up to the roof)
Westley, you fiend! How is this possible? The last I heard, you were a cripple in a wheelchair.
WESTLEY
That is true, but still I almost managed to kill you!
KING KARLOFF
Well, I’m happy to inform you that you have failed.
(he reaches up to touch some blood on his head and looks at his hand)
A little blood never hurt anyone. I am very much alive and well.
WESTLEY
Well then, perhaps I need another tile.
KING KARLOFF
Guards, get up there and arrest that man and bring him to me.
WESTLEY
(turning to Hubert)
Let me down.
They lower him to his chair.
WESTLEY
Honestly, that worked far better than I had anticipated. Now, we just wait to be arrested.
HUBERT
That was the easy part, your highness. What do we do once we’ve been brought to the king?
WESTLEY
When we’re in his presence, we will kidnap him and use him for ransom to get the princess back.
HUBERT
But how will we do that?
As Guilderian soldiers storm onto the roof and surround the three, the trio raise their hands in surrender.
WESTLEY
I’m sure something will come to mind.
CUT TO:
EXT. TRAVELLER CAMP - EARLY MORNING
Diego is making the final adjustments to his things on his donkey. The entire band of travellers is standing near the edge of the forest. Carmen, Vano, and Vano’s family, including Sevda, stand near the front. Vano has his arm around Sevda. Francisco is nowhere in sight.
CARMEN
Have you seen Julio’s horse, Diego? That beast could carry the belongings of twenty people.
The donkey turns and looks at Diego.
DIEGO
(quietly)
Don’t listen to her. You are a fine animal.
(now, out loud)
Yes, she is quite impressive.
Diego checks all of the fastenings. Then, satisfied, he reaches into a pack and pulls out a small bag and approaches Carmen.
DIEGO
Señora, a deal is a deal. I have kept my end of the bargain and now it is time to keep yours.
He counts out ten gold pieces in his hand.
DIEGO
Here are the ten gold pieces I owe you for Paco’s guitar.
CARMEN
Are you sure about this?
DIEGO
I can only find happiness by fulfilling my vows.
Carmen looks truly disappointed.
CARMEN
If you should ever change your mind, you can join our band.
DIEGO
That was the right decision for Francisco, but it is not the right decision for me.
CARMEN
Very well then.
(now yelling toward the back)
Bring the guitar!
The crowd parts like the Red Sea. When it has fully parted we see Francisco standing on the far end, holding a beautiful guitar we have never seen in his hands. Traveller Boy One stands behind him with a guitar case. There are tears on Francisco’s cheeks. He takes steps toward Diego who is standing on the other end of the tunnel of people near the open fields behind him. We watch as Francisco passes slowly through the people, his tears giving way to a smile as he approaches Diego.
FRANCISCO
Diego, there is no one in the world I would rather give this to.
DIEGO
Thank you, master. You have been like a father to me.
FRANCISCO
And you, like a son.
Francisco hands the guitar to Diego, who takes it, runs a hand over the wood and marvels for a moment.
FRANCISCO
You must have a guitar worthy of wooing a princess.
DIEGO
If I can at least bring her some relief, I will have accomplished my purpose.
FRANCISCO
Do you remember the first day of your lessons when I asked you why a guitar was shaped like an hourglass?
Diego smiles and nods.
DIEGO
I guessed that it was to remind us how short time is.
FRANCISCO
It was a good guess, but you were wrong. Do you rememeber the reason?
DIEGO
The guitar is shaped like a woman to remind the player to play it with passion, but also tenderness, and to never mistreat it.
FRANCISCO
You remember well. Keep it in this case. It has protected the guitar for these many years and should protect it long into the future.
Diego gently places it into the case. Francisco latches it and hands it to Diego. It has a strap on it and Diego slings it over a shoulder.
FRANCISCO
Give me a hug.
The two embrace, trying to be strong.
FRANCISCO
Now get going before you change your mind. Because you know you can still change your mind.
DIEGO
Please, master...
FRANCISCO
Okay, forget I said it. You’d better say goodbye to the others.
Diego goes to shake hands with Carmen, then Vano, and finally comes to Sevda, who is fighting back tears. She holds her hand out, but Diego refuses to take it. Instead, he opens his arms. She leaves her dad for a moment to embrace Diego.
DIEGO
I pray that the courses of fate will bring you joy and happiness and a long life with a man who deserves you.
When they release, she pulls back and wipes a tear from her eye. Diego starts to turn.
SEVDA
Diego, wait.
FRANCISCO
(through his smiling teeth)
This is your last chance.
Diego casts an annoyed look at his master, then returns his attention to Sevda.
SEVDA
I must thank you for one thing more.
DIEGO
What is that?
SEVDA
Because of you, I can now dance the Flamenco.
Carmen steps up beside Sevda and places a hand on her shoulder while looking at Diego.
CARMEN
And because of you, Sevda, Diego will now be a master.
As if forcing himself, Diego turns quickly and goes to the head of his donkey and grabs the lead. He begins to walk away. He turns to wave, and the crowd waves back.
FRANCISCO
(yelling)
Diego, remember what I told you!
DIEGO
What is that, master?
FRANCISCO
When you see the princess’s face, try to look pleasantly surprised.
DIEGO
(leading the donkey)
I will remember everything you taught me, master!
The crowd keeps waving and smiling, except Sevda whose face is buried in her father’s chest. Carmen turns toward Francisco who is near her.
CARMEN
Tell me again what he did in the castle.
FRANCISCO
He was a slave who carried water all day long up a thousand steps.
CARMEN
Do you think he will return to that?
FRANCISCO
Probably.
Diego, somewhat farther in the distance now, turns again to wave.
FRANCISCO
(yelling and waving)
Good luck, Diego! Have fun in the castle!
CARMEN
Do you think he will be disappointed?
FRANCISCO
Most likely. But I am beginning to think that it doesn’t matter.
CARMEN
Is this true love, then?
FRANCISCO
My heart tells me so.
From a distance, Diego turns and waves again. Carmen, Francisco and the others wave and smile with renewed vigor.
CARMEN
But don’t you think the princess is probably already married?
FRANCISCO
If she’s even alive.
CARMEN
For the boy’s sake, I pray that she is.
CUT TO:
INT. ALADRIC’S BEDCHAMBER - JUST BEFORE DAWN
We see a dreary room lit only by pale moonlight streaming in from the windows. Waverly lies in the bed. As we come to her face, we see that her eyes are open and her face is slack. There is a bruise on her cheek. Her blank face slowly transforms to a wince. Slowly, she reaches up and touches the bruise. Her hand barely lingers there before it reaches up and squeezes her temples.
WAVERLY
Iñigo...
She starts to cry. But then, almost as suddenly as it started, her sadness is replaced by a dead, uncaring resolve. She looks around the room.
She spies the door leading outside to the Prince’s garden. Her arm reaches out from the bedding and grabs her torn gown lying near her on the floor. She sits up slowly, as if in a trance, and slides the light gown over her head. She stands, methodically. Her hair falls in shambles around her shoulders where only a piece of one sleeve holds her gown on her body. She doesn’t seem to care. She glides slowly toward the door, finds it unlocked and opens it.
Out the door, we see an open garden bordered by castle walls that lead down toward the moat. There are a few trees, but mostly open lawn with some equipment used for fencing matches and games. We see a rudimentary fighting ring, a pull-up bar and modified wagon filled with rocks and chains that appears to be some sort of exercise equipment. Beyond the moat, there is a small open field with a forest beyond it. The moon glimmers on the waters of the moat.
Waverly glides out, slowly, mechanically, almost as if she’s sleepwalking and heads straight for the wagon. Arriving there, we see her reach into the wagon. She pulls a long, heavy chain from the pile of rocks and weights. Once it’s free, she turns in the direction of the moat and drapes the chain over one shoulder and then the other until the heavy chain is looped several times around her upper body.
She then walks robotically under the weight down the gentle slope toward the water, holding the chains on her shoulders and dragging a small bit of it behind her. The dark waters, which are covered in mist, grow larger and murkier the closer she gets to them. Though she moves slowly, she does not hesitate when her toes first touch the water’s edge. She keeps walking. The bottom of the moat slopes gently and she passes into the water before she is submerged to her ankles and finally to her knees.
At the point where she is submerged nearly to her waist, we hear a sound off camera. It is the short grunt of a horse. Hearing this, Waverly pauses one moment still looking down at the water.
As she pauses, we hear it again, accompanied by the sound of a hoof stomping the ground. Slowly, she looks up beyond the water. Through the mist, we see a large white unicorn, stomping the ground, neighing, and looking at her. It grows energetic and prances, as if trying to get her attention. She stands frozen as she watches it test the water with one hoof. It then splashes into the water. Quickly, it is joined by others. The first unicorn is soon wading through the water, followed by others.
The unicorns reach the shallows near her. Their bodies rise from the water as they approach. The lead unicorn comes right up to Waverly and nudges the chains on her body. She lowers her hands and slumps her shoulders and the chains fall off her in a splash. The unicorn nudges her with his nose. She reaches up to pad its chin and pet its forehead.
A second unicorn comes up next to them. Waverly sees that it is carrying a horn it it’s mouth.
WAVERLY
Is this for me?
She holds her hands out, palms up, and the unicorn drops the horn into her hands.
WAVERLY
I’m sorry for your loss.
She looks down at the horn in her hands and sees the hollow open end at its base.
WAVERLY
Thank you.
Waverly looks at it, then the water. She crouches down and fills the horn with water. Standing, she looks at them, then at the horn in front of her. Then she pauses. She looks at the water in the horn as if thinking, then dumps the water out. She clutches it tightly against her breast.
WAVERLY
Thank you, oh so much. I need this very badly.
The unicorns turn and wade back across the moat. She watches them reach the other side and pass into the mist and into the dark forest. Still clutching the horn to her chest, she glances at the sky. The warm light of the impending dawn enlivens her face. With a slight smile, she turns and heads back toward the castle.
FADE TO:
INT. GUILDER THRONE ROOM - DAY
King Karloff is seated on his throne in a large chamber decorated with swords, battleaxes and other instruments of war. His throne is flanked on either side by benches for counselors. In them sit Prince Aladric, Roger and four or five older men. There are no women. The throne and benches are on a large raised stone platform that is elevated three steps above the rest of the hall. The steps are twenty to thirty feet away from the king. Beyond the steps is a large hall lined by guards and surrounded on three sides by a second story gallery from which many of the women and other court hangers-on watch business. A long carpet runs from the large doors opposite the king all the way across the hall, up the steps, across the platform and under the king’s throne.
KING KARLOFF
(loudly)
Bring in the conspirators!
Armed guards open the massive double doors on the other end of the long hall. Westley, Marvin and Hubert are prodded at sword point to proceed into the chamber. Each one has a guard behind him. Hubert pushes the squeaking wheelchair. As they proceed along the long carpet, Westley glances around to size up the situation.
WESTLEY
(quietly)
Four... five... six... You getting this, Hubert? I see ten in all.
HUBERT
Twelve, your highness. There are two in the corner.
WESTLEY
Good eye. And how about the buffoons around the king?
HUBERT
It’s difficult to say. Two, at least.
WESTLEY
That makes fourteen or more. Any sign of the princess?
Hubert and Westley look up at the people in the gallery.
HUBERT
I don’t see her, sir.
WESTLEY
So help me God if they’ve harmed her.
Finally, the three men and their guards arrive at the steps. The wheelchair bumps up against the first step. Hubert stops. The guards look up at the king questioningly.
KING KARLOFF
(with a dismissive hand gesture)
That will have to do.
The three guards step back several steps leaving Westley, Hubert and Marvin somewhat alone in the large room.
KING KARLOFF
My, my, my. Just when I thought I’d seen it all. Prince Regent Westley, I thought you more capable than this. After three failed invasions of my country you resort to throwing tiles upon my head.
WESTLEY
Listen, you filthy moron, I only threw the tiles to gain an audience with you.
KING KARLOFF
To do what?
WESTLEY
To tell you that you will either return my daughter to me immediately, unharmed, or your life will be in constant danger.
KING KARLOFF
From whom?
WESTLEY
(threateningly)
From me.
After a pause, the king looks around at his counselors and laughs. They laugh when he laughs.
KING KARLOFF
There may have been a day when such a threat from you carried some merit. But look around, Westley. Look in the mirror. I think those days are over, don’t you?
WESTLEY
You would like to think so, wouldn’t you, you shriveled excuse for a man. Now, bring Princess Waverly to me at once.
WAVERLY (O.S.)
I am here, father!
Waverly’s voice has come from the gallery above. We see her in the gallery, above the waist, dressed in a ruffled blouse, her hair done up in a pony tail. She waves at Westley, smiling because she is happy to see him, but tempered by the seriousness of the situation.
WESTLEY
Darling! I’m here to take you home.
WAVERLY
I know father.
WESTLEY
Are you okay?
WAVERLY
I am, father. I am fine. I am sending Matilda to give you refreshments.
At this moment, Matilda scurries awkwardly across the hall full of fear and worry. She carries a goblet on top of a long piece of linen that drapes from her hands. King Karloff watches her. Aladric moves as if to say something, but the King arrests him with his hand; he’s bemused by the situation.
Matilda steps hurriedly and awkwardly and goes straight up to Westley with her back to the king. As she leans in, she pulls back the long linen and we see that the goblet was just a ploy, for hidden beneath the cloth is the unicorn horn filled with water. Westley knows what it is immediately and looks up hopefully at Matilda.
WESTLEY
Did it work?
Matilda looks frightened and confused, and glances up at Waverly. Waverly puts on a brave face, and smiles and waves at her dad. The king leans in his throne trying to peer around Matilda as Westley quickly drinks all the liquid from the horn and hands it back to her.
KING KARLOFF
(motioning to the guards)
Okay, that’s enough.
Two of the guards step forward and grab Matilda under each arm and begin hauling her up the steps backward. As she reaches the top step, a sword falls from her skirt. It sits on the top step, pointed toward Westley with just the tip extending over the ledge. It jangles loudly. Matilda looks frightened. King Karloff’s face looks blank, almost angry, then he bursts into laughter again. His cronies do the same.
KING KARLOFF
(laughing)
This is priceless! Three failed invasion attempts, then you try to throw a tile on my head, and now this! One sword tucked up under a woman’s skirt? Really, Westley, you are better than this. I don’t know whether I should laugh or cry.
WESTLEY
Listen to me, you ill-begotten son of a leper’s donkey, I want the princess, Matilda, and Iñigo brought to me immediately. Then, if you’re lucky, we will leave the rest of you unharmed and return to Florin.
Just the tip of Westley’s boot moves, almost imperceptibly.
KING KARLOFF
Oh, Westley, you haven’t heard? Poor Iñigo passed away. It seems he tried to clash swords with my son.
The corner of Prince Aladric’s mouth curls.
WESTLEY
(hesitating a moment)
I know Iñigo like a brother. If he clashed swords with you, you were up to some act of villainy. And if he died, thirty men must have fallen around him facing an ignominious death while his blood spilled for an honorable cause.
ALADRIC
(smugly)
But, still, he lost.
Westley looks up at Waverly. She nods sadly, before Westley returns his gaze to the prince. Westley’s other boot shifts ever so slightly on its pedal.
WESTLEY
Then I withdraw my offer of leaving you unharmed.
KING KARLOFF
Oh, please, Westley. This was mildly amusing at first, but it’s getting old. You’re a paralyzed old man accompanied by a court jester and a man even more ancient than yourself. Drop the charade, and let’s get to the business of setting a ransom price.
WESTLEY
Very well. How much do you think your kingdom is willing to pay to for you?
KING KARLOFF
Has anyone ever told you that your bluffing is funny at first, but that it quickly gets annoying?
WESTLEY
Only my wife is allowed to tell me that.
KING KARLOFF
Well, you should listen to her.
WESTLEY
The problem is that I’m not bluffing.
Westley places his palms on the handles of his chair and slowly, feebly starts to stand. The music builds. He stands fully, but appears weak. Hubert, Marvin and most of the others are astonished. Waverly fist-pumps the air and is radiantly happy.
WESTLEY
Listen to me, you cow-handed son of a rat’s louse, I am not your prisoner, and neither are these two gentlemen. We are an invasion force, and we demand the immediate release of the princess.
KING KARLOFF
But how is this--
WESTLEY
I’m not done yet!
Westley places one foot on the first step, then his other foot on the second one.
WESTLEY
I have debts to settle with you, that pompous dandy-boy you call a son, and any other person in this castle who had anything to do with the kidnapping of my daughter.
Westley is now on the second step very near the fallen sword whose point sits over the ledge facing him very near his boot. He now places both feet on the second step and stands tall. He tilts his head from side to side, cracking his spine, working out the kinks.
KING KARLOFF
(standing)
But how is this possible?
Westley stares at the king with steely eyes, smiles wryly, and says--
WESTLEY
I am a father whose daughter has been kidnapped. The rules of physics no longer apply.
Westley steps on the point of the sword, flipping the hilt up into his hand. He launches into action toward the nearest guard, dispatching him quickly. He kicks the fallen man’s sword to Hubert who catches it and joins the fracas. Westley has 110% of his energy.
From the balcony, Waverly jumps onto one of the draperies and slides or swings down to the first floor. We see that she is wearing pants under a blouse and is armed with a long sword and a dagger in her belt. When she reaches the floor, she draws the weapons and kills one of the guards who is fighting with Hubert.
Marvin reaches into his bag and starts throwing apples. They explode around the room, killing more guards.
WESTLEY
(while fighting two guards)
Marvin, you failed to mention that the apples were explosive.
MARVIN
Well, I wouldn’t throw just plain apples.
Marvin launches some apples toward the king and his cronies. They jump over benches and topple chairs as they dive for cover.
Westly, Hubert and Waverly have killed most of the guards on the floor and are slowly fighting their way toward the king and the prince who are getting somewhat cornered in the back of the room, hiding behind overturned benches. The room is getting destroyed by Marvin’s apples.
Roger and some of the other counselors muster some courage and engage the fighters of Florin. Westley is killing people with alarming rapidity. Roger jumps toward Waverly with his sword drawn. She has a sword in one hand and a dagger in the other. Facing each other, they pause for a second.
ROGER
I don’t think it’s proper for a lady to wear pants.
Waverly throws her dagger, which strikes Roger in the chest. Dropping his sword and clutching his chest, he falls onto his back. Waverly bends down and pulls the dagger from his heart.
WAVERLY
I never asked you.
The team has now dispatched everyone but the king and his son. Westley, Waverly, Hubert and Marvin surround the two men whose swords are drawn. Matilda scurries over with a packed bag slung over her shoulder. She nervously picks up a dead man’s sword and dutifully points it at the king and his son.
WESTLEY
There is a small chance that if you beg for mercy we might be lenient.
KING KARLOFF
Name your ransom price.
WESTLEY
(keeping his eyes on the king)
Waverly, has the king treated you well?
WAVERLY
Other than kidnapping me and taking me prisoner?
WESTLEY
Fair point.
KING KARLOFF
I assure you that I provided her with the finest room and all the food and drink she wanted. And I forbade all from harming her.
WESTLEY
And what of Iñigo?
KING KARLOFF
He had a disagreement with my son.
WESTLEY
You mean that ostentatious little foppling over there?
WAVERLY
It was not a disagreement! It was--
Waverly winces, drops the dagger from her left hand (still holding the sword in her right), and reaches up to squeeze her temples. Westley is decidedly concerned and distracted. He turns his attention toward his daughter.
WESTLEY
Darling! I had hoped that you were--
Taking advantage of the distraction, Prince Aladric runs toward Westley’s back with his sword drawn. In the nick of time, Waverly glances up from her palm toward her dad and sees the impending danger. Just as Aladric’s sword is about to plunge into Westley’s back, Waverly’s sword flicks like lightening and parries the thrust. She steps around her father with seething anger burning in her eyes and thrusts and jabs at the prince. She is clearly a better fencer as he is immediately on the defensive. He retreats step by step. Finally, with a mighty thrust she causes Aladric’s sword to fly far away. Fully disarmed and vulnerable, he stands haughty and proud and looks on her with disdain as the tip of her sword rests inches from his chest.
ALADRIC
I suppose you’re going to kill me for what I did to you.
WAVERLY
No, you did nothing to me--
Waverly plunges her sword in his chest all the way to the hilt. When her face nearly touches his, she says--
WAVERLY
This is for Iñigo!
She twists the sword in his chest then puts her boot on Aladric’s chest and pushes him off her sword. She allows herself only one moment of triumph before she cleans her sword on a banner on the wall next to her then tears the banner from the wall and cuts a thick ribbon from it. She quickly sheaths her sword and grabs her dagger and goes to the king who is standing stiffly in front of Hubert’s sword. She roughly takes the kings arms and ties them tightly behind his back.
KING KARLOFF
What are you going to do with me?
WAVERLY
You’re our safe ticket out of here. If you cooperate, you’ll live.
HUBERT
You know, something tells me that you’re not the kind of princess who needs rescuing.
Waverly directs the king forward with one of her hands on the knot and the other pressing the dagger into his back.
WAVERLY
Perhaps.
(then smiling at Hubert and Westley)
But I’ll never say no to a little help.
WESTLEY
But darling, I don’t understand how the horn didn’t help you.
WAVERLY
I’ll explain later, father... after we get out of here.
WESTLEY
Follow me.
As Westley, Waverly, King Karloff, Hubert, Marvin and Matilda dash off toward a side door, we hear--
LUCY (O.S.)
Does Westley know that Waverly didn’t drink from the horn?
CUT TO:
INT. LIVING ROOM - EVENING
Dad, Mom, Maggie, Lucy and Daisy lay on a blanket between the couch and the fireplace, which now has a fire that looks as though it has been burning for some time. Dad and Mom are snuggled on the floor with their backs against the couch. Maggie and Lucy sit close on either side, while Daisy lies on the couch hovering over dad’s head. They all look at the book in dad’s hands.
DAD
I don’t think so, honey.
LUCY
So, she’ll never be cured now?
DAD
Maybe not.
MAGGIE
That’s so sad.
DAD
Well, we haven’t finished the story, have we.
DAISY
Keep reading.
DAD
(reading)
Westley, Waverly, Hubert, Marvin and Matilda quickly made their way through the castle while Waverly handled the King.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. GUILDER CASTLE - DAY
The party makes their way through the castle. A troupe of soldiers tries to stop them. We see Waverly shouting something at them while she stands behind the king holding her dagger to his throat, as the party keeps moving toward the stables.
DAD (V.O.)
Using the king as leverage, they negotiated their way out of the castle and to the stables where they commandeered some of the king’s finest horses.
CUT TO:
EXT. GUILDER STABLES - DAY
Westley and Waverly force the king up onto a horse where he lays face-down over its withers. Westley gets in the saddle behind him. The rest of the party find horses and mount them.
DAD (V.O.)
When they left the castle, they took the king with them. The poor fellow nearly died riding on the withers of Westley’s horse.
CUT TO:
EXT. COUNTRYSIDE - DAY
Close-up of the King Karloff’s red face flopping up and down against the side of a galloping horse.
DAD (V.O.)
But once the team had returned safely over the Channel of Florin, Westley allowed them to travel at a more leisurely pace.
CUT TO:
EXT. FLORIN COUNTRYSIDE - DAY
The party walks through a forest, dismounted, leading their horses. King Karloff walks with his hands bound in front of him with Hubert’s sword at his back. Only Waverly remains mounted. She is slumped over the saddle with her head in her hands.
WESTLEY
Please take heart, darling. As soon as we get home safely, I shall not rest until I find another unicorn. My only mission in life is to see you well again.
WAVERLY
Father, I believe it would be a fool’s errand. I feel they can only be found when they want to be found. Besides, I will learn to make do with darkness, my swims at night, and your stories.
She forces a weak smile.
WESTLEY
Perhaps.
WAVERLY
Besides, if you see pain on my face, know that it comes from the pain I feel when I remember that Iñigo lost his life because of me.
Wesley turns to her as he walks, leading his horse.
WESTLEY
Darling, Iñigo’s death is not likely to affect anyone more than it does me. He was like a brother to me. Oh, the times we had out on the briny sea and in distant lands. There will always be a hole in my life that he was meant to fill.
WAVERLY
Then why are you not more distraught?
WESTLEY
Precisely because I know Iñigo more than anyone in the world. Now that I’ve heard the story of his death, I’m actually quite pleased.
Waverly looks at her father a little put off.
WAVERLY
How can you say that, father?
WESTLEY
You see, for many years Iñigo tried to die an honorable death. He did not want to grow into an old invalid. He wanted to go out in full possession of his strength and faculties. And, being a Spaniard, he longed for a noble way to die.
Westley swats away brush with his sword as they pass.
WESTLEY
For this reason, he totally transformed the office of pirate. Rather than raping and pillaging, he went about the world protecting people from rape and pillage. He robbed the richest treasure fleets with as few men as possible. He recklessly invaded castles with just a handful of men. He once intervened in England to protect a monastery from a hundred vikings... by himself.
WAVERLY
What happened?
WESTLEY
He won. It frustrated him to no end. Every week he engaged in some combat against impossible odds for a worthy cause. But, every time he vanquished his foes and came out alive. It was horribly disappointing.
WAVERLY
Are you making this up?
WESTLEY
Darling, would I lie to you? Iñigo and I spoke about it often. He told me about his struggles many a night over a skin of wine. He had won so many times that he had begun to lose hope. ‘I’m destined to always win,’ he would say. ‘God has cursed me with extraordinary talent,’ he would moan. It really was a sad situation.
WAVERLY
So, he was ready to die?
WESTLEY
He was more than ready. He said he had lived a long life full of friends, passions and adventures. He just wanted to die the same way he had lived. But when he met you as a little baby, he found new purpose, and wanted to see you grow up to be an amazing woman. And he swore to me that he would defend you with his life.
WAVERLY
And he did.
WESTLEY
And he did. You see, Waverly, you gave him the thing he wanted most-- the chance to die for something he believed in. And he believed in nothing more than he believed in you.
Waverly wipes a tear from her cheek.
WESTLEY
I’m quite certain he’s happy with the way things turned out.
Waverly sits a little taller in the saddle and casts her eyes upward. As she does, we see that the party is approaching the Castle of Florin.
DAD (V.O.)
And so, our party of adventurers returned safely to the Castle of Florin.
CUT TO:
EXT. CASLTE WALLS - DAY
As the party climbs up the path to the castle gate, we see Queen Buttercup waiting with a large entourage of counselors and soldiers.
DAD (V.O.)
Queen Buttercup tried to maintain her decorum, but when she saw her daughter alive and well, she couldn’t hold back.
When the horses get close to Buttercup, Waverly dismounts, looking like a tough, well-armed adventurer. She takes a step toward her mom. Buttercup runs to her daughter with outstretched arms and embraces her. After a prolonged embrace and tears of joy, Buttercup turns to Westley who is holding the rope tied to King Karloff’s hands. Westley pulls the king toward Queen Buttercup.
DAD (V.O.)
After a joyous reunion with her daughter, Queen Buttercup engaged in subtle diplomacy with the King of Guilder.
Buttercup approaches King Karloff with a serious, calm demeanor, then slaps him hard across the face. From a distance, we see her hit him several more times until he ends up on the ground. She reaches down, her crown falls off, slaps him, pounds on his back, then proceeds to kick him. Once she feels vindicated, she stands up, awkwardly returns the crown to her head, wipes the dust from her hands, turns to her entourage and takes Westley’s hand.
DAD (V.O.)
It looked as though life would return to normal in Florin. The queen went to work negotiating a very steep ransom for the King of Guilder-- a sum large enough to rebuild her scattered army, and one that would hobble Guilder for a century to come.
CUT TO:
INT. WAVERLY'S BEDCHAMBER
Matilda sits outside Waverly’s bed in the dark room lit only by candles. Once again, Waverly’s bed curtains are drawn and we cannot see the princess.
DAD (V.O.)
I wish that I could say that all was well in the kingdom, but nothing could be truly well when the princess was in pain. She returned to her bed and her usual patterns. But cold water and her father’s stories could only do so much. Yet, not everything was quite the same.
An OLDER PAGE knocks on the door of Waverly’s Bedchamber.
MATILDA
(pausing from her knitting)
Enter.
The Older Page enters.
OLDER PAGE
I have a message for her highness.
WAVERLY (O.S.)
I’m listening.
OLDER PAGE
Your highness, one of your page boys has requested to play the guitar for you. He has permission from your father.
WAVERLY (O.S.)
Very well.
Diego enters the room looking deferent and humble, but also confident. The Older Page leaves the room and closes the door behind him. Diego stands near the door. His head is slightly bowed. He carries Paco’s guitar in one hand and music in the other. The laces of his blouse remain untied, showing a little of his muscled body. When Matilda sees him, she looks pleasantly surprised.
MATILDA
Oh, hello. What is your name?
DIEGO
Diego.
MATILDA
You’ve come to play?
DIEGO
Yes. For the princess.
MATILDA
Very well. She is in her bed and can hear you. You can sit over there if you like. That is where her godfather, Iñigo, used to play.
Diego walks over to the stool, sits down, and gets in position to play.
DIEGO
He was my uncle.
MATILDA
Oh? Oh, I remember you. Diego. Of course. My, you certainly have grown up.
WAVERLY (O.S.)
Diego, you should know that your uncle died in the most honorable way.
DIEGO
I know. That is the only way he knew.
A pause.
WAVERLY (O.S.)
So, you’ve taken guitar lessons?
DIEGO
You might say that.
WAVERLY (O.S.)
How do you mean?
DIEGO
Your highness, I have travelled to the end of the earth, to Cádiz, where I found the greatest guitar master in the world. For five years, he made me pollinate a thousand lemon flowers by hand, work six hours a day and practice for ten. I played until my fingers bled and I became one with the guitar. And then he told me of a tree he had planted on the day of his wedding to his late wife. When his son, Paco, grew up, they used the wood of that tree to make the world’s finest guitar. Paco was killed in an act of treachery, but his blood, sweat and tears remained in that guitar. That guitar is widely known to be the finest guitar in the world. To get that guitar, I had to journey to the village of the travellers. There, I resisted the temptation of a life of pleasure in order to obtain it. With the help of the saints and thoughts of your troubles always at the front of my mind, I resisted the temptations and emerged with the skills I needed to serve you and the guitar of heaven to please you.
There is a long pause before we hear the princess say--
WAVERLY
Page boy.
DIEGO
Yes, your highness.
WAVERLY
(desperately)
Take the pain away.
The camera zooms in on Diego. With a face marked by passion and the slightest hint of a knowing smile, he says--
DIEGO
As you wish.
Diego plays a haunting, beautiful piece. The music fills the room and reverberates off the domed ceiling above. Matilda drops her knitting to the floor as the music overtakes her. Diego loses himself in the music, often closing his eyes. The camera spins around the bed, giving us a 360 degree view of the bed with the princess hidden inside. When the camera returns to the view from where Diego sits, we see that the princess has withdrawn that curtain to watch Diego. She appears to be naked but for the bedding she holds draped in front of her chest. She peers intensely at Diego.
When he opens his eyes and sees her, the music stops.
WAVERLY
Don’t stop.
DIEGO
As you wish.
Watching her almost as intensely, Diego resumes the music. The princess closes her eyes and her head falls slightly back as good feelings envelope her in rapture.
DAD (V.O.)
And so, Diego played for the princess. He played with more passion and more sensitivity than he had ever played. For brief seconds, he thought about how proud Francisco would be, but then his mind would return to the princess. He saw himself entering into the tangled web of her mind, finding the sources of her pain, and untangling them. As he played, he brushed the troubled stands of her mind until they all came out smooth and in order. After a few days, Diego’s playing could take the pain away for the whole night. Within a week, she could go a whole day and night with no pain. And three months after Diego first played for her, she had the last headache she would ever have. But still he came to her chamber and played for her every night.
CUT TO:
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Mom’s head rests on dad’s shoulder. Maggie and Lucy are cuddled up tight to their parents and Daisy, who is on the couch behind dad, has a hand draped over dad’s shoulder.
Dad closes the book, but saves his place with a finger near the end.
MAGGIE
Wait. Is that end?
DAD
No, but it goes into a lot of technical stuff here.
LUCY
Like what?
DAD
Oh, it describes the princess getting better, and how she started riding again, how she was introduced to the public, and how the people of Florin fell in love with her. It also describes her many suitors, the princes who came from foreign lands, and how she got married.
DAISY
Did she marry someone else?
DAD
Someone else besides whom?
DAISY
Besides Diego. He’s the one who loves her.
DAD
Well, let me skip to that part.
Dad opens the book and flips through several pages. He settles on one spot and begins to read.
DAD
Finally, on one of their outings together, Prince Consort Westley asked Princess Waverly why she rejected every nobleman in the country and every prince from distant lands.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. GUILDER COUNTRYSIDE - DAY
Westley and Waverly are galloping on horses. An entourage of guards and pages follows them at a far distance. Westley reins his horse in to a walk and speaks with his daughter whose horse is right next to his.
DAD (V.O.)
She explained to him that no one made her feel the way Diego did. She said that she had made up her mind, and that just like her mother, she would marry a common man.
Westley reins his horse to a halt. Waverly does the same. Their horses stand very close to each other. Westley smiles at her, drops his reins and reaches over to hug his daughter. He kisses her on the top of her head.
DAD (V.O.)
When Westley embraced his daughter, he did so with a love that surpasses most of the embraces in all the books in history. For the love that a father has for a daughter is of a completely different sort. It is not tainted by possessiveness, selfishness, or desire. It is a pure love tinged by one hint of sadness only. For, while he was overwhelmed with joy from seeing his daughter healthy and happy, he felt that small hint of sadness deep in his breast. What made Westley sad was the knowledge that his princess would soon be... a princess bride.
CUT TO:
INT. LIVING ROOM
Dad wipes a tear from his eye as he closes the book.
DAISY
Why are you crying, daddy?
DAD
I’m just happy that I get to spend so much time with you girls.
MAGGIE
We should do something tomorrow.
MOM
What would you like to do?
LUCY
Something as a family.
MAGGIE
Maybe we can go for a hike.
DAISY
Let’s ride horses.
MOM
(looking at dad)
I can ask Suzanne about her stables.
Dad places the book on his lap and reaches his arms around his family and squeezes them together.
DAD
That sounds like a good idea. But no matter what we do, I just want to make sure I’m doing it with the four of you.
Mom and the girls close their eyes and smile as they are squeezed by dad.
THE END - FINAL FADE OUT.
If you would like to read the post-credits scene involving Sevda, please email me. It really exists.
